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                  <text>History of New York Lesbian Style Oral History Project, 2007</text>
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                  <text>The History of New York Lesbian Style collection is an oral history project created by Alaina Zulli in 2007. Zulli was a NYU graduate student studying fashion history at the time and was working with the oral history collection as a student employee at Tamiment Library. This motivated her to document changes in New York City’s Lesbian culture as expressed in fashion through the personal accounts of women who identify as a lesbian.&#13;
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This collection includes four audio recordings of interviews conducted by Zulli, digitized from CD-R by students at Pratt Institute’s Library and Information Science Program. The original materials are held in off-site storage by the Lesbian Herstory Archives.&#13;
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Transcriptions were made by Amelia Leventhal, Marissa Moxley, and Sophia Santaniello.&#13;
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                  <text>The information available on this site, including any text, data, artwork, video, audio, images or graphics may be protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws. Entities other than the Lesbian Herstory Archive may own copyright of the material. Material from the website may be used for non-profit or educational purposes. However, if copies are printed or displayed, copyright notice must be included. Except as provided above, you may not reproduce, republish, post, transmit or distribute any material from this website in any physical or digital form without the permission of the copyright owner. For information regarding any further use of the materials contained on this site, please contact the &lt;a href="https://lesbianherstoryarchives.org/"&gt;Lesbian Herstory Archives&lt;/a&gt;.</text>
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                <text>Lesbian Style Project Ichikawa Disc 2</text>
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                <text>Lesbian Style Project: Fumio Ichikawa (Disc 2)</text>
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                <text>Alaina Zulli interviews Fumio Ichikawa, part two. She reflects on her experiences of xenophobia and colonialism, particularly in the context of the six month university exchange program that she spent in London. Then, she reflects on how she came to understand her lesbian identity, the tensions between Japanese cultural norms and gendered expectations and her identity as a lesbian, and how her identity is reflected in her style. </text>
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                <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: 400;"&gt;Contact LHA at &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href="mailto:dyv.lha@gmail.com"&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: 400;"&gt;dyv.lha@gmail.com&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#13;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/"&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: 400;"&gt;Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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                <text>6/4/07</text>
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                    <text>Alaina Zulli
Okay, this is Alaina Zulli interviewing Fumio Ichikawa on June 4 2007, in the
Barney building of NYU. Okay, Fumio, start by going over your background. Tell
me about where you were born when, etcetera.
Fumio Ichikawa
Okay, I was born in 1968, in a small town in Kanagawa, which is a prefecture
next to Tokyo. My parents were both from that region. And they lived in Tokyo
at the time. But traditionally women go home to their parents to give birth so I
was staying with my grandparents when I was born. It's an interesting story
that my great grandfather passed away two weeks before I was born. It was a
natural death, he went to sleep, he had a habit of taking a nap in the
afternoon, by the sunny spot on by the window. And in one day, he didn't
come back after the sunset. So my father was [unintelligible] my mother, and
it's in my maternal grandparents home. And my father went away, got my
great grandfather, and he never woke up.
So he, my father was actually the first one who discovered my great
grandfather passing and it was almost like exactly two weeks before I was
born. And you know, depending on what you believe in, but in some of the
Buddhist mythologies and the ideas about, the idea of like, passing from this
life to the next life, and in between, that's just about the time where you're
supposed to be crossing over this lever that separates this world to the next
one, wherever that may be. And they may be, you know, he may never have
left, he may have stayed with me. And so they decided to take residence in
my mother's room. And the reason why I mentioned that is my great
grandfather actually wanted to come here to the United States. He was a fifth
son of a very large family, and because of the primogeniture, the oldest son
takes over the family business in the land. So he wanted to get a strike a
fortune outside, so he actually got on the ship, heading over to the United
States. I think he made it over to Hawaii, then that's when he found out that his

�older brother passed away, and he had to go back. So he never made it to
mainland. But his plan was to come to the United States, make a lot of money,
go home successful. It's quite didn't happen. But he did make it to the uh, to
Hawaii.
So my family came here when I was 17 because of my father's job. Everybody
left but me after my father's assignment, and they went back, I stayed behind.
And I have a feeling. I never thought of it that way earlier. But now that I think
about it, I think it's my great grandfather making me stay. So that's one of the
family or the personal, that I have about me being here. So I grew up in a
suburb of Tokyo. It's within Tokyo prefecture, but it's one of the new
developments in the 70s. There was a lot of urban growth, but not affordable
housing in central Tokyo. So there was planned housing projects, all over
suburbs, in the countryside there was nobody. So I grew up among people
from all over Japan. People, their parents came on in the job assignment, they
came for higher education and stayed, or they're transient, you know, moving
from different city to city. But it was an interesting environment. Nobody was
from there. Anybody sort of came there, anybody lived there. But so many
different dialects, so many different cultures. During the summer vacation, the
town emptied out, because everybody went back home where their
grandparents were from or their parents are from.
So it was a very interesting time that everybody knew each other and their
parents and nothing beyond. You came there with like no baggage, no family
history, just you. So there was no sense of like, insiders, outsiders and also the
kind of what we call village mentalities that a lot of people associate with the
Japanese, where you're closed in, which is basically everybody knows
everybody's parents, cousins, you know, who knew who we didn't have that
growing up. We didn't have natives versus outsiders. We, our class sized up
from like 15, starting on the beginning of the year, by the time we move to the

�next grade, we had 30. So that was the norm, which is very unusual in most of
Japan.
AZ
The growth you mean?
FI
Well, just in terms of the, the growth as well as sort of the mobility of people is
quite unusual. So when I compare my experience to my cousins who grew up
closer to my grandparents is very, very different thing, where they grew up
with all kinds of history, like, even before they go to school, everybody knows
you. Because both my grandparents were teachers. So all the teachers from
your school, the next school over, the parents, they knew who you are before
coming in. Whereas where I, me and my sister grew up, it's just you. And, you
know, you get to know other people's parents through the kids of, the
connection were the children, not necessarily the kind of kinship or the
location or sort of family history that you brought. So that was unique, I think.
So that gave me a different perspective from a lot of people who grew up, so
tied to the land and the community and family history. So that was really
interesting and fun place to grow up. And then my father was transferred
here, when I was when I was 16. We didn't come here until the year later,
because my sister really, really, really wanted to graduate from junior high
school before coming here. I was happy to leave Japan, my mother and my
sister weren't. They were so afraid of going to places where they don't speak
the language, they don't have any friends, all kinds of anxieties. I was ready to
leave, I was not happy where I was. Because of many different things, but um,
and also, I had a very different image of the United States being a more
individualistic, freedom, creativity, democracy that a lot compared to sort of
Japan in the 80s, where things were very structured, what seemed very
structured.

�AZ
Even in your area?
FI
Yeah, well, it was because of the national sort of, um, it was a time of
economic growth. And there was an expectation that the parents wanted
their children to do better. And there was a very specific and clear path to do
better. Higher education was the key, and there are school [unintelligible] and
it was very clear that which colleges or university you went to connected you
to the types of opportunities you had after graduation, it's a lot more
systematic than here. Really, here, it's more sort of implicit, in sort of class and
networking aspect of it. In Japan, once you get to a particular school, the
network is there for you. It doesn't matter where you come from, you get
plugged in, so everybody understood that. And everybody sort of aspired to
that.
And also, there was a shift from highly urbanized economy and society
around that time, like market economy. And global economy impacting a lot
in terms of how Japan was shaping up to be very much urban centered
society. Transition from like the more, more small towns, villages, and diversity
of that, too, everybody aspires to be the city dweller with the latest and
greatest. So I think it was a time of convergence of many different influences,
defining very clear a singular idea of what's successful. And [unintelligible,
laughter].
Yeah, part of the reason is, you go through entrance examination after you
graduate from junior high. I mean, some wealthier kids go through that earlier
but for most, you know, kids, that's sort of the first rite of passage on age 15.
After you graduate from junior high, you choose a high school to go to, you
decide if you can go to public schools, private schools, you stay close to

�home, or you travel. There aren't really that many boarding schools. So it's
really I think, you take the train to commute, an hour and a half versus staying
that's the school that's close to the home, maybe, [unintelligible]. So not but,
that's sort of the first time you get filtered into different groups based on,
supposed to be based on academic performance, but there's a lot more to it
than that.
And when I got to high school, it was a very different world because we mixed
with, well, that was my first encounter with people outside of my community,
which were very, very – It was weird. I go to a new community, it's a lot more
homogeneous than the diversity that I was so used to in terms of people's
expectations. The, the weird thing about where I grew up is economically very
homogeneous, because of the housing project, housing prices, rental system.
I guess there'll be equivalent to coops here, determined in the your parents
income level, right? Like where you live and the community we lived in was
based on the fact that everybody could afford to live in the same housing
project.
AZ
And it was middle class?
FI
It was really like the middle class back then, in Japan, versus what we think of
middle class here, versus what we think of middle class in Japan, now are
completely different thing. It was sort of for the the economic bubble of the
nine, early 90s. So it's, it's a working community, mostly, like white collar, mix of
white collar office workers, some professionals, teachers, you know, a lot of
school teachers, office workers, but not like senior management. It's sort of,
you know, middle to lower. And also, generationally they were still young, so
and they were on the path to becoming middle managers, and senior
managers but not quite there yet.

�So, culturally, we were very diverse but economically we were very
homogeneous. And then, when I went to high school, we get thrown into the
places where economically, it's very, very diverse. That was the first time I
actually met somebody whose parents own like sushi restaurant, you know
like the small business owners, the shop owners. We weren't, I wasn't used to
that, I'm used to dealing with, you know, teachers, office workers, people who
commute to work. Versus you having business at home, and you sort of grew
up in an environment that was very different. But at the same time, it was
very, I mean, I think it's the same, high school everywhere, it was very cliquey.
And um, I didn't quite fit into, both the cliques, and also sort of the culture at
the time. That was really, um. It's gonna be like the long history of the 60s, the
80s. But it was a time of very conservative period, a lot of the people who were
student radicals in the 60s, late 60s, early 70s, sold out and became an office
worker, and they're sort of, you know, telling the children that you have to
study really hard, you know, go to the good school, get a good job, work for
major corporations and your life will be successful and stable. And I knew
those are the same people who burned down the campus and didn't have a
graduation because they were against what was going on in Vietnam, what
was going on with the uh, the treaty between the United States and in Japan
the Security Treaty. They were against the nuclear war and whatnot in the 60s,
and it's the same people telling us, "no, this is the way to happiness."
So I was really frustrated with the fact that I'd have to sort of stay within that
scheme of things. And I wasn't creative enough, I wasn't talented enough to
just say, Forget you, I'm going to do my own thing. So I was reasonably smart
enough to do well enough in academic performances. That was like what I
was good at, but I didn't really like that, that was the only thing... and what you
get at the end. And also the fact that there was a vague understanding and
expectation that even if I do as well as the boys, you know, I can score as high

�on exams, but there will be other "attributes," and in quotation marks,
attributes that teachers would add to the application process, that would not
necessarily disadvantage me in terms of going to college itself. But at the end
of the process, that, that that sort of is not going to matter less than the fact
that I'm a girl. Which, unbeknownst to me drastically changes in the four to
seven years that I'm going to be away. But that was the understanding then,
before I left.
AZ
So, you're saying that it was harder for girls to get into college?
FI
No, cause, not, cause examination process was fairly straightforward. You
take the exam, you pass you get in. There weren't any slot based on gender.
But to get the high school, especially public high schools. There was a little bit
of a backlash on heavy reliance on testing, academic testing. So a few years
before I – well maybe, when I was in junior high school, the government
decided, well the Tokyo government decided to add a few extra, um, weight to
like art, music, Home Economics, and, what's the last one... physical education.
We had nine subjects, four, those four sort of more based on, you know,
academic talent, and we have like five different subjects, Japanese, English,
math, science and social science, before you take the exam in five subjects, if
you score high you get in. After the reform, you have to carry the score, the uh,
your grades from your school. But your four subject is going to be weighed a
lot heavier than your academic subject. So before you go take the exam, you
also need to have schools that you can apply to predetermined by how well
you do in your school, including those four non academic subject, which is
very subjective in terms of either getting these categories versus taking the
exam and scoring 100 on the academic side of it.

�So and it's it was fairly common that if you had the same score, and if you're
sort of borderline between the A line schools versus the B line schools that the
teachers get a little bit of an edge to the boys. And also, the expectation is
that a lot of the women would go to junior college as opposed to the four year
college, work a few years and, and get married. So the aspiration, it's not
necessarily that it was structural barriers to get into four year college. But the
aspirational pattern was very different for boys and girls. It wasn't that case
with my family, the expectation with my parents always like to go to the four
year school. And I think, looking back, my father never said that I couldn't do
something because I was a girl. And I think I owe that to my paternal
grandmother. But it was a shock to me when I was talking to my classmates
in high school that your parents actually told you that you know, these are
girly, girly, like things or things that women are not supposed to think about or
wish for. I mean, it's a very stereotypical view of the Japanese society. But it
was true to some extent, especially with the small business owners more than
professional families. But even then, most of the mothers are stay at home or
work part time, but there aren't many professions that women can stay after
they get to a certain age or they get married and have families. So it was
mostly teachers, nurses, very few office workers, or professional.
So that was sort of the environment I was in and I was also not happy with the
way everything is weighed the same. You could be really good at one subject,
and equally suck on another subject. And that will bring your whole average
down instead of you know, you sort of developing what you're good at. And
sort of keeping up with what you're not so good at but passing, and still be
able to go to a place where what you're good at, and what reflects your
curiosity and desire to fulfill. Like, everything has to be sort of average
downwards, to where you're not good at. And I had this whole image of the
United States being different, that you can actually develop your own
personal sort of strength. So, and also, like sort of gave me a way out of being
ordinary, you know, going to New York. And then everyone is like, woah you're

�going to New York. So it just, you know, automatically, you did, I didn't have to
do anything, just by the virtue of my father being transferred, I'm somebody
special, which was a nice feeling as an average kid.
So that brings us to 1986. Spring of 1986. So we waited until my sister
graduated from junior high school, got here in April. Not a good idea because
academic is about to end and then nobody wanted to put us into uh, into
school. Because they were about to, it was about the time now in New York
State, and I don't know how familiar you are with the New York state education
system, but they have a regions exam. And it, all the teachers are concerned
about getting anybody passing the exam And because we didn't speak
English all that well. And because some of the bilingual students are their star
students, they didn't want their students, their star students sort of being
distracted by babysitting basically. So I started school in Long Island in the ESL
classes, most of the subjects except math, because math, you know, you don't
need language. And the math teacher in that class I really hated,
[unintelligible] because she thought I was going to drag her star student
down. After we take the exam, for me, it was like high school entrance exam, I
thought it was a joke. I didn't think it was 11th graders. So once they saw the
score, just, you know, complete turnaround. You know, teachers, teachers look
at me, and math was my worst subject.
AZ
You're worst subject? Okay.
FI
So it was, it was an interesting experience. But for a few years after that,
because of my limitation in understanding spoken English, everybody treated
me like I was five years old. That was the vocabulary and the range of
expression that I had. So it's not easy being a teenager in Long Island around
that time. But on top of that, there was the struggle of having a 17 year old

�brain stuck behind the vocabulary of five year old. Yeah, so my high school
days are pretty much confined to hanging out with other kids from ESL. But the
other kids in ESL classes from all over the world, which was great, in one way.
But at the same time, there's definitely a divide between what we would call
the regular class students and the ESL students. And gradually you move on
to, you move over as your English gets a little better. And also, you start to
take classes. And for us, most of the Japanese kids, we are really well trained
to read and write. And, you know, we take homework seriously, we try to keep
up. So in terms of trying to get up to speed in being able to participate in
regular classes, wasn't that big a deal, like, we just need a little bit of time to
get used to it. And spend extra time between classes or at home to try to do
as much preparation as possible so that we'll be prepared to go into class.
And even if we don't understand what the teacher is telling us, we've read the
textbook. So we know what to, you know, we have a little bit of comfort level in
trying to figure out what the teacher is saying, as opposed to the teacher
teaching us history. It's more like we try, us trying to figure out what we read in
the history book, and where the teacher is in explaining that to us. So in the,
the book knowledge, and you look up the dictionaries and you tried to get that
in your head before going to class.
AZ
It's a lot of work.
FI
Yeah, but you know, that's the only way, that's, that's what schooling is. So it
was more you know, trying to bring your English up to the level where you
understood spoken English and listening at the level of your understanding of
the written English. So, by the time I graduated, I was taking most classes in
regular class with ninth graders, 10th graders, not necessarily twelth graders.
But but at the same time, I still spent a lot of time in this one sort of class that
was dedicated to ESL students and their volunteers helping them with

�homework. So I think I picked up more Spanish language than you know,
English in this time, and now it's fun. And it was also an interesting experience
seeing people from very different backgrounds and very different
expectations about what a 17 year old is supposed to be and how much
responsibility you have, either because you're in immigrant, and you're the
one who has to take care of a lot of things for them, you know, for your
parents. Then some of the roles that sort of, that happens because you are
the one who understands English the most. Even if my English is limited, it's
much better than my mother's. So you know, anything that goes wrong, I have
to call and trying to figure out what the right people to call, is this an
emergency or is this a normal thing? Or you know, if you have parents teacher
conference, I have to interpret what the teacher is saying to my parents and
then interpret backwards with my limited English. So a lot of the relationship
between parents being the guide and protective influence versus children
being sort of shielded from dealing with all the everyday things, it reverses at
that point. And you sort of become the grown up, you sort of become the
public face of the family. So that was, that was interesting, too.
So that was sort of a transitional period where my language skill was very,
very limited. But at the same time, I had to make the most of it. And I couldn't
really shy away from it, because that was my responsibility for the entire
family. Because I mean, my father was using English somewhat at work. But
he wasn't there, most of the time he was at work. So I have to get the driver's
license quickly so we can go grocery shopping, instead of waiting for
weekend. Or just to you know, drive people around. So a lot of things,
housekeeping, things that I had to learn to try to do it quicker. And it was
different from what I was used to. It's not that I didn't do that at all in Tokyo
when I was growing up, but it was a lot easier for kids to do. I could get around
on bicycles anywhere. Whereas here, especially so at first, you have to have a
car to get around.

�AZ
Yeah. So where in Long Island did you move to?
FI
Fort Washington.
AZ
Okay, I lived out on the North Fork, But it was not quite suburban.
FI
Yeah, well, the reason why my parents, my father picked Fort Washington was
because it's at the end of that Long Island Railroad he used to commute. So
he learned that when he was younger that because of the community, Tokyo
is notorious for being packed and very uncomfortable, he always wanted to
find a place at the end of the line, and he would stand, and get a seat, like,
you know, like half an hour earlier, let a couple of trains pass and you can get
a seat and take that in, all the way through, and you thought it was going to
be a thing here. So pick the thing. And also the fact that they had a very good
ESL program. So looking back, it was a beautiful place, but not having a way to
get around was very very difficult. So I spent a lot of time taking the train to
come into the city, you know, go into The Village. And you know, how life was
in The Village was so different from how it was in like the malls in Long Island.
AZ
Yeah.
FI
That's, you know, that's what I did. And then I went to school in the city. So I
moved out of the house, I lived in a dorm.
AZ

�College?
FI
Yeah. I went to Barnard for four years. So that was the first time living away
from home, and also living 24 hours in English, which was very very stressful.
By the time I graduated high school, I was fairly competent at school,
because of the fact that you can actually prepare for school, right? You know
what to expect. And you can interact with the teachers within the classroom.
Social life was different. But you know, you could get by feeling that you
understand what's going on with living in a dorm, most of the interaction,
most of the critical interaction is outside of the classroom. And really just
learning how to explain things like real day to day, in a way, whereas if you're
tired, the different kinds of tiredness or just, it's a lot more about explaining
how you feel than a subject matter that you know what you don't. And that
was a very different experience. At the first it was very, very stressful, that I
didn't have a break from that. The fortunate thing is that Columbia had an
amazing Japanese English Library. So I spend a lot of time in the library
reading the books that I like, but at the same time, that's sort of like a little bit
of space I have, because of the fact that I have spent, it takes a lot longer for
me to digest textbooks than my classmates, so it was really nice to be living in
a dorm so that you can spend, really spend a lot of hours studying, preparing
for it, spend time in the library. But at the same time, just not having that sort
of break in coming home and being comfortable in my own language was
difficult for six months.
AZ
Yeah.
FI
But then also you make new friendships, you gain different friends. The first
year, all my friends were children of immigrants. They're the first generation
Americans or they immigrated when they were very, very small. So it was

�fortunate that they understand the fact that your limitation on language
doesn't necessarily mean that you're stupid, which is a big, big, big help, in
terms of communicating because they never talk down to you. They may
repeat themselves, but they'll never like talk down to you and slow it down, like
you're talking to a child because they understand that's not the case. I mean,
some people did do that, thinking that's helpful and it is in a way. But it's also
at the same time very, very insulting. But I couldn't say that at the time,
because I could tell that the person on the other side meant well. And it's
much later in my life that I learned the expression, the road to hell is paved
with good intentions. And when I heard that I'm like, I know exactly what that
means. So, so I spent four years at Barnard and spent also six months in
London, in my journey. I really liked school, I really liked college. But at the
same time, I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay in the United States after I
graduated. That was around the time when Japan was doing very, very, very
well, economically. And there were a lot of opportunities for students returning
from overseas being bilingual. I had a very hard time understanding
Americans.
AZ
Americans?
FI
And I realized now that it's not the Americans in general, but it's northerners,
people in the North urban, people who seems very nice, very friendly, but they
don't really mean it.
AZ
So you mean you have trouble understanding them?
FI
In terms of the social distance, not necessarily the language itself. And I
always would sort of attribute it to like, well, maybe I didn't understand what
what the person was saying. I misunderstood what the person was saying. But
I didn't relate [inaudible]. And no, it's that's just the way they are. They say
things they don't mean. And I had a lot of that in college in social situations,
especially the barrier part. So even though my language skill was getting

�better, and I began to understand a lot more about my surroundings, I wasn't
quite comfortable. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to live in the United States. At
the same time, I didn't know I wanted to go back to Japan yet. I knew it was
much better than I expected at the time, in terms of the opportunities that you
have, and also the professional chances for women in general. At that time, it
seems to be so much with economic boom that they actually the first time in
the history they had equal employment opportunity legislation encouraging
employers to hire or give equal opportunities men and women. There was no
enforcement, there was no quote, there was no measurement of
achievement or compliance with that. The law is symbolic, but because of the
economic reality of companies looking for well educated workers, it was
actually happening. So I knew that that was a possibility that I could actually
find a professional opportunities in get real job and that I could stay and
expect, you know, being expected to stay not just, you know, work for a couple
of years and, you know, get married and move on. But at the same time, I felt
like, well, I spent a few years here. I sort of know, New York in the United States.
But when I go back, I'll probably lose a lot of what I learn, probably lose my
language skills. And I didn't feel like I gained something solid enough to take
back and not lose all the things that I worked so hard for. So I wasn't I really
wasn't sure what I wanted to do after I graduate. So in my third year of school,
I decided, well, maybe there's another way. Maybe it doesn't have to be Japan
or the US. So did some research and found that there is some kind of, it's not
an official program, but at least the reciprocal agreement that the bond that
will recognize the credit from the University of London.
AZ
okay, yes.
FI
So I decided to go to the School of Oriental and African Studies at University of
London for six months. The reason why did that for the springtime is that
British system is similar to what, Japan copied the British system, so they have
the trimester. If you go in Spain, you get to do second trimester and the third.
So I figured you get more out of spending a semester away by taking two
instead of going in the fall was just the first time. Also at the time I really was
into British music and culture. Well, not food, but you know, fashion everything.

�AZ
Yeah.
FI
Okay, I'm gonna go to London. So I spent six months in London, thinking that
the school life is similar there. So first, I live on campus housing, there was no
such thing. There was no campus, I saw there was only one building. There
was more like the NYU back in the day. Well, even here now, like you have
different schools. University in London have like different schools, but over all
around downtown, some of the more mainstream colleges, like King's College,
I think had a dorm nearby. But SOAS didn't have anything. They had a whole
bunch of flats in North London, about 45 minutes on the tube. That's when, at I
first I looked for a room share and you know, posted in a student's office and
went on on a few places. And honestly, this is not working, way too many
creepy people. And it wasn't nearly a room, share. It was just like the corner,
you know, one side of the flat you have it [inaudible] on the floor. And then like,
that's your room and let's say 500 quid a month [inaudible]. So I wanted to
keep it to the same level as like what my father was paying for the dorm here,
which was expensive, too, but didn't want to cost him any more than he was
spending already. So, so North London is where I spent six months among a
whole bunch of students from Middle East. That was my first time I actually
got to talk to somebody from Lebanon, Kuwait. And a lot of Arabs living in,
coming from Africa, actually. Some of them actually lived in Africa. Yeah, I
think there are some Syrians, mostly Lebanese and Kuwaitis that I met and an
American who wanted to go to Africa, but they were the place he was going
to go to just adapted into a civil Civil War, so he couldn't go so he decided to
come to London because he already took time off from school. He couldn't go
back. An Antiguan American, I don't know why he was–he wasn't in the same
school, but he was friends with the American kid. A South African born Indian
living in, coming from a suburb of London. A whole bunch happened so I met
a lot of Asians there, Asians in London at the time were South Asia and I'm East
Asian but we were more Orientals than Asians.
AZ
What year is it?

�FI
The 90s. Early 90s. And that's what I learned when I went to SOAS. I realized like
the why SOAS was next to the School of Tropical Disease. It's a school for
Colonial bureaucrats and administrators. So you go study the language at
SOAS, so you learn in African, East Asian, all the the colonial footprints that the
British Empire had. At SOAS you go to School of Tropical Disease to get
immunized and then you're off. Yeah, we were like nifty school of Tropical
Disease.
AZ
Interesting.
FI
It was fun. It was interesting. But so you definitely saw the legacy of
colonialism there that a lot of the students there were from former colonies,
and also Middle East where [inaudible] gets educated outside of their own
countries. Yeah, Dutch guys, and then also the European Union, they didn't
charge tuition, if you're with the European Union, that they have list, you didn't
have to pay tuition for universities. So I mean, they love foreign students,
because that's where they got, they get to charge tuition. So there are a lot of
language students from Asia, particularly from Japan, just come to the
London School. A lot of Americans on study abroad program. Well, not a lot at
SOAS but a few, and people from all over. So it was interesting living with
South Asians, and especially Middle Eastern friends, because that's the time of
the first Gulf War. I was there when it started, it was very, very interesting,
watching it on TV, on British television, among the Arabs talking about a very,
very different perspective, and take on what's happening, or what it means.
And that was my first experience for war as well. That was the first, Imean, I
grew up in postwar Japan. And we're like, no army, no weapon, we don't
engage. And we are not allowed to engage in that. And we don't want to live
with the mistake of the World War II. So even though in Britain, you know, they
had the Falklands, so they this sort of have modern conflict. For me, it was a
first experience of knowing that somebody that I know may actually go to war.
And, but I knew so little that I actually call back to my friend's home and say,
are you going to be drafted do you have to go to war? Because that was the

�image that I had. And once you know, country engages in the war, you get
drafted and you go to war, but no, it's a volunteer army, that doesn't happen
until they get really desperate. So, you know, like college age kids, I thought,
like, there'll be the prime candidate to get shipped off. But that didn't happen.
So it was really good to see that, especially, you know, looking at what's
happening now and how it gets broadcasted here. The whole controversy
with the friendly fire now is the first Gulf War most of the British casualties
were killed by the Americans. And also it was very, very tense going to school,
because we had a very large concentration of Middle Eastern students. So we
used to joke about it, we should just start, we were joking and we would say,
like we should go to a really expensive restaurant, you know, eat whatever we
want. Leave a big, you know, duffel bag on the seat and just run away. Say no,
we're all extremely students and trying to save money. Yes, really good
[inaudible]. So, you know, we had enough sense to talk about it, but at the
same time was a very tense time on campus with all the newscasts that
descended and tried to ask opinions of the Arabs on what's going on. And so I
really actually did like living in London.
AZ
You did?
FI
Even though I didn't like living in North London and having to take the two,
three songs into the city. But culturally speaking, I had a much better, easier
time understanding the social distance of the English than the Americans.
Even though I didn't understand a lot of the words that they were saying a lot
of the accent that they had, I understood what they meant, versus what is the
distance between, it's very, very similar to what I grew up with.
AZ
Can you describe that difference?
FI
For Japanese, what we say and what we mean are two separate things and
there's an understanding of that, depending on the context, depending on the
relationship, depending on the situation, we say certain things, but you need

�to read between the lines. There's a conventional expression and
understanding of the personal distance, that you may extend something to
somebody, but depending on your relationship with that person, the other
person would understand that if it's a real invitation, or if that person is being
polite to you.
AZ
So it's very nuanced?
FI
Yea, yeah, and it's a lot more. The conversation had a lot to do, a lot more to
do with the relationship with each other. It's never, and also sort of social
hierarchy. So the politeness of, I think the politeness of it, the degree of
politeness that the British or the I should say English displayed to each other,
in the context that I understood was a lot more similar. So, the relationship
between teachers and students, it was a lot, the distance between the two, I
feel a lot more comfortable in the, in the UK university system than in the
United States, where there are still professors pretend to be your peers. I was
uncomfortable with that. I mean, there's definitely power relationships, but
they try not to acknowledge that a lot of the times in the United States.
Especially with older people, younger people, older people try to, they try too
hard to be cool. In the US, they try so really hard to be young or understanding
of the youth. Whereas in Britain, there's no pretense like, if you are of certain
age, you're supposed to behave a certain way. And that's okay, that's, you
know, that's not a reflection of you not being cool. So I think that yeah, I think
the value of the definition and the value that you place on a certain
characteristic isn't in definition, based on social standings, age, all these other
attributes, I had an easier time understanding. It's not that I liked it or not, I
mean, it's very structured. And sometimes it prepared me it makes it difficult
for real friendship to develop, if your understanding is so different. But also at
the same time, if it does happen, it makes it more meaningful. Which has
been my experience with some of my friends back home who are of my
father's generation. But it was just was easier distance. And there was less
disappointment in terms of what the other person extend to you versus what
you understood the closeness be or the friendliness. So I really liked living
there, and I wanted to stay there longer, but I wasn't sure of the job aspect. But

�graduate school definitely, like I was thinking that's a possibility. And because
of the fact that, SOAS especially, emphasize a lot more of getting a language
to the native level before you move on to graduate study. To me, it was it was
a must, you have to be able to leave things in primary language, and do
research in primary source to do your undergraduate thesis.
AZ
Undergraduate?
FI
Yes. So I was sitting in the class, undergraduate class, reading modern
Japanese from 1890s, which is a very difficult Japanese for us natives, we had
one too, but I was sitting there discussing what, or reading untranslated work,
so it was easier for me.
AZ
Right.
FI
[inaudible] but in that was the expectation. So in the US, I could take
Japanese language classes, but everybody discussing the work that I'm
familiar with, reading it in English and discussing in English. So I mean,
discussing in English was fine, but just the fact of having to read it in English
and looking at weird translations was different. So, so I came back with the
sort of sense of okay, maybe that was the place culturally speaking, except for
the fact that it was very hard for, I mean, it was really hard for anybody to get
a job in the UK at the time. But that's a really no, I mean, I can go on for that
was my first like, 20 years of my life and I can go for the next 17 years, but you
might want to skip ahead or?
AZ
Let's move on to your sexuality.
FI
Okay.

�AZ
You identify as–
FI
Lesbian.
AZ
Lesbian. Tell me about when you came out. Actually, go back to when you
knew.
FI
I always knew actually, I always knew when I was growing up. But in Japan,
teenage homosexuality for girls was sort of almost expected, you know, you
sort of practice, you wanted a real thing. So everybody joked about it
everybody knew girls used to give me you know, flowers or not flowers, but
even make me lunch, make me things. On Valentine's Day in Japan, it's a big
commercial conspiracy. But the candy companies came up with this idea
and came up with some legend somewhere in Europe that that's the day the
girls can actually get to convince the boys what they feel, how they feel about
it, unlike, you know the girls are supposed to wait and not really be
forthcoming. That's one day of the year, you can be in, you know, in charge of
expressing your opinions. And it was universally understood that I'm going to
be on the receiving, I'm going to be on the receiving end on that day instead
of giving. But I always knew, but I always knew I was much after the girls, but it
was, but it was different from sexuality, because the idea of sexuality was very
much a grown up thing. So the part about the sort of orientation part of your
emotional attachment, like your attraction was fairly clear. But that didn't get
connected to the actual sexuality part of it at a much, much, much later.
AZ
By you or by your culture?
FI
By me, I think. I mean, like some of the girls, I think it's a lot different now.
Things change so much, and a lot more young people know about sex and
sexuality much younger. But when I was growing up, I don't think we really

�talked about it in junior high school. I mean like, we talked about dating, like,
you know, having crushes on boys and things like that. But it was more like,
well I want to, you know, like spend time with them, get close to them, hold
hands with them, to that extent. I think kissing came into play maybe in high
school, but it was still like whoa, big deal, then. Because even though we didn't
call it school, the boys worlds and girls world was segregated. It was sort of
implicit. And also, like crossing over got so much backlash from your group
and got a reputation that's like, oh you really like boys kind of thing. So even in
the co-ed school, that was the context. So a lot of the girls who had the
practice one with the girls that they did, like, a close relationship and in girls
was a lot more explicit on Valentine's, and then that was completely
acceptable.
AZ
Was it talked about?
FI
Yeah, everybody knew, I mean, like parent's kids. You know, my straight friends
who went to Catholic High School, she had long hair very feminine, but she
got letters, candies from underclass girls all the time. Yeah most likely the
younger students may be having a crush on upper class, not men, but
upperclassmen in girls, schools, talked about, written about, practiced. And I
think for grownups point of view, it was sort of a safe thing, because precisely
because it didn't involve sexuality, or they assumed that it did. It was sort of
like emotional relationship without the threat of sexuality. And I don't know, I
didn't go to girl school so I don't know to what extent there was actually
sexuality involved. But a lot of the grownups think that it's sort of like healthy
development in terms of having curiosity about forming a relationship, but it's
safe. So it was funny, like when I was in junior high school, trying to find, you
know, think about which high school to go to all my friends, like, don't go to girl
school, don't go girls school, so then you get the taste of it, you will never get
out of it! It was a worse than understanding that if I were putting in a situation,
that would be that I'll feel very comfortable in that situation. I'll never come
back to sort of graduate in that phase and in, you know, behave like a girl. So,
in that sense, I always knew and I think people knew and even sort of my
parents and my relatives always talked about, I have a younger sister, two

�and a half years ago. I was the oldest grandchildren, grandchild on either
side, but everybody's expectation was my sister's gonna get married first. And
I'm going to be a working woman. And also the fact that that the way I
dressed and the fact that I always wanted to do things that people
associated with boys or I can I could compete with them. I was very
competitive. I'm because I could compete with them. And also, in terms of
leadership in class, the class president, or the student government, like the
roles that I play was always sort of like a leadership role. And maybe they sort
of didn't give me a hard time about, which I think is kind of unusual. And I think
it has to do with the fact that we were in a new community. And we also got
very young, eager teachers because of the fact that it was very new
development, and it was very [inaudible]. It wasn't connected by public
transportation yet. It was a planned community so they worked on the town
first, and then they put the label after we got enough density to sustain the,
the legal plan. So a lot of the times, young teachers stayed out of school who
wanted to come to Tokyo and stay in Tokyo take the exam for the prefecture.
Their first assignment tend to be in remote places, like in islands or us. We got
a lot of great teachers coming in, who are not necessarily super experienced,
but they had a lot of great ideas and they weren't really caught up in
conventions and traditions. So I never thought, it's usually like when you look
at any kind of literature, which is comic books. In co-ed situations, it's usually
the class leader is the boy and the vice chair, whatever the title is, will be the
girl. Wasn't the case, when I was allowed, everybody sort of understood that
I'm the leader and whoever is going to be the second you know, you elect like
one male, one female to the position, and then it's almost expected that the
boys will be number one, they got the segment that didn't have. Yeah, so I was
used to that. And I think that was part of the reason why girls are looking at
me as sort of pseudo-boy kind of role. Then it's the same thing from girl's
perspective, it's a safe alternative to actually being, you know, engaged in
trying to build relationships with boys. Because you don't get to use that, as
you know, not as love but like as a boy crazy or you don't get the kind of
scrutiny you'll get from your parents if you're hanging out with boys. So
anyway, I think so in terms of I knew I knew early and people knew me and but
I think the expectation was I'll grow up at some point. And it talks of since this
is about style and fashion. So in terms of how I dress when I was younger, I did
like wearing pants and jeans and t-shirt. I mean, I dressed up I did like

�wearing like pants and jeans and T shirt. I mean, I dressed up in the formal
occasions, my father was in the apparel industry. So you know, we would
always get the best suit for the graduation. But in terms of everyday wear, I
think I was fairly aware, early on that the girls had to show [inaudible], like, you
know, there was a very strict expectation about what girls aren’t allowed to
do. And I wasn't happy with that. So I thought the way to be taken seriously,
the way to be equal was to behave like boys. I don't think necessarily, I wanted
to be boys, I was just pissed off that I couldn't, you know, be on the same level
as them in the eyes of the grown ups. Or like anybody, you know, my peers or
my upperclassmen. So I think I was fairly consciously trying to destroy the
expectation every chance I got. And I also learned that that's possible. I think,
once you prove to them that you can do it. You know, I mean, they'll call you
names, but they'll call you names and, but you can earn certain respect that
way, and, you know, wearing girls clothes and was sort of not conducive to the
activities that that I like doing. And you know, running around beating up all
the boys showing that you know who’s the boss.
But when you get to junior high school, at least in my district, you have to wear
school uniform. And I agonised over like, asking my parents for boys uniform.
But I didn't even get picked on like, right away by the upperclassmen. So I'm
like, Okay, I don't want to sign up. Sorry. When's the last time the girls uniform
and, you know, people made fun of me for wearing skirt and like, not
interested in skirt. But, you know, you get used to the uniform that sort of
made me a little bit self conscious. It's not that I didn't like dressing in skirts. I
mean, I mean, any formal occasion when my father brings home the brand
new three piece suit with like nice pleated skirt, I loved it. So it's not that I didn’t
like dressing, but I think I was sort of aware of the fact that ,if you dress like a
girl, people make fun of you. Because they're not used to seeing you once
they sort of have an image of you as a particular type of person, then. And a
lot of the boys tease me like, you know, you behave like a boy. So it sort of
does sort of stuck with me. So whether I liked it or not, it's one of the things that
people tease you about, if you were deviate from what you would expect of
you. So, Junior High High School, even though wore uniform to school, on

�weekends, it's pretty much back to you know jeans and T shirt. Then when I
came here, and I also always had like, hair, kind of short, never grew my hair
long. So when I first came here, one of the things that was really liberating was
nobody has any expectation of me other than the fact that I'm Japanese. And
I didn't speak English, all that well. Later on, I realised that you know, the whole
Japanese female thing and what you have to deal with, but at that time, the
language thing was a lot bigger.
AZ
What do you mean Japanese female thing?
FI
You don't understand how many people stop me on the street, like I lived in
Japan it’s great. It's mostly former servicemen.
AZ
Ohlike men hitting on you?
FI
Not necessarily hitting on you they are friendly. But you know, you have
certain expectations of Japanese women being submissive, docile, provide,
you know, really takes care of their man kind of thing.
AZ
Okay.
FI
Which is. And also, there's a whole image of Asian women in American
popular culture, dating back way back, there was a great documentary on
PBS on the spirit image of in Asian women being juggling lady versus the
what’s that Madame Butterfly, because those are two iconic images. And
sometimes men have a fantasy of having both be the same person. So you

�know, you may look very innocent and pure and quiet in a circus. But once
you get to that point, you're a freak, and you have all kinds of amazing sexual
abilities. And I learned that lesbians have the same stereotype. Yeah that we
have some kind of special techniques. But yeah, that's much later. So at that
time, I was sort of completely free to reinvent myself in a way. I mean, it was
hard, not being able to articulate what you were thinking about what you
observed and what you meant to express. But at the same time, that sort of
took the edge off of how people saw me like, you know, I was always very
vocal. I was always the there’s this thing in Japanese schools that when you
graduate, or when you move on to a different way, you actually come up with
like a little booklet, to sort of commemorate your classmates or your
experience. And, you know, we were brought in, like in the [inaudible], you
know, the most successful all the things that you do. Yep, it's a similar
AZ
Superlatives.
FI
Yeah, so that was the fastest Monday class. We didn't need it the most
popular like, we had like all kinds of things like, I’d always be the toughest.
Boys and girls one on top is number one, and also the one who speaks so fast.
I'll be the fastest speaker. So you know the way sort of my mind worked and
the way I articulated myself, tend to give people a very strong impression of
maybe not I'm feminine, but at the same time, it's a very sort of outspoken
personality that people don't necessarily associate with virtual femininity. It
wasn't ideal for characteristic for women. So the fact that I couldn't speak all
that well, and I didn't speak much, and the fact that I'm in a completely
foreign environment where people people dress different you know people
their hair different. High school kids wore makeup, which could be a cause for
dismissal back in the days in Japan not anymore, but you know, when I was
growing up, just curling your hair or perming your hair, there was a cause for

�suspension.Actually, nobody said anything if I wore a dress. Now, they said,
Oh, that's a nice dress, or, you know, where did you get it? But they didn't make
fun of me for that. So I was like, wait a minute, it's like, you know, I can try
different things and not necessarily have to deal with people's image of me.
And also the fact that when I came here, I couldn't find a hairdresser that I
could trust or I couldn't explain to them what I needed done.
AZ
Yeah.
FI
My mother's best friend at the hairdresser's I've never had anybody else cut
my hair. So come here, white folks in [Long Island?] don't know what to do with
my asian hair, I wanted it short, but it always comes up awful. So I decided
like, Okay, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna go through the trauma was sitting in a you
know in a beauty parlour, like, praying that they don’t mess it up. So, I started
growing my hair out in high school, and I kept it long. So I looked you know,
very, very different, and nobody really made fun of me for growing my hair, or
getting perm more. So that was interesting. In terms of my own idea of gender
image. I always thought like, I was a boyish girl. And I was comfortable with it,
but then I started to question it's like, was I doing it because like, to behave like
a girl was disadvantageous to what I wanted to do. Is it something that
people taught me to do versus like what I really felt comfortable doing? So I
sort of went and lived in that body for a while, which was kind of nice and
which was kind of fun. And I realised like I’m much more feminine than I
thought I was, and I'm much more comfortable being feminine. I'm less
embarrassed about dressing like a girl and it's actually kind of fun. I never
really went so far as to put on the makeup my mother traumatise me when
the first time I put on lipstick my mother was like you look like a drag queen.
Thank you mother I mean you know I picked up the lipstick my mother my
grandmother had yeah that was my mistake. But so she kept me in check

�about like, you know, what's suitable for me versus like so you know, I never
really after and I'm like okay, I'm not putting on any makeup. Most of my
college years I looked quite girly, I'm not girly girl but you know, wore more
skinny jeans and skirt, but I didn't make much of wearing a dress or really girls
clothing [inaudible]. And then at the time, I thought I could be bisexual as well
no, I think I wasn't even thinking about sexuality in terms of my attraction to
girls I mean you know i i definitely pay more attention to women and how
pretty they are or I will look in there or like the who appealed to me. But at the
same time it's almost like it was like the other way around. That it's a practice
for me that I thought like I could actually date boys. So and I did have a
chance a few times.

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                    <text>Alaina Zulli
This is Alaina Zulli interviewing [redacted] goes by [redacted] on May 31 2007,
in Bobst library. Okay, so [redacted], let's start with your background. Tell me
where you were born. Then about your family.
Anonymous
Excuse me, I was born in New York City, Beth Israel hospital. I am the last born
out of four children, two boys, two girls. My mom is a single, single mother.
Unfortunately my dad was at the time I was born children. My dad,
unfortunately my my father was killed in some kind of confrontation with
somebody. So I never really knew my dad. I have a stepfather who raised us
who I kind of recognise as my dad because he's the only father figure I've
known. And we grew up in Brooklyn, Park Slope, excellent neighbourhood.
Should have stayed there. Guess that kind of answers a lot. And I, I mainly
grew up with just my sister, just me and my sister. My two brothers were
actually raised with my grandmother. I believe my mom probably had them
when she was really young. So they grew up with my grandmother. It was cool
like, we, we lived in a household where it was just the four of us. Unfortunately,
my mom has a my mom has a mental condition. She's diagnosed as being
schizophrenic. So that was a little weird sometimes, you know, my mom was
kind of always in and out of hospital. I actually when I was born, I was born
with what's called CAH, it stands for congenital adrenal hyperplasia. It actually
means I'm missing an enzyme in my body, my Adrenaline gland doesn't
produce a certain enzyme. And I was actually also born with ambiguous
genitalia. Which, as most people know, my sometimes I think about it when I
was born, you know, most babies when they're born, they like you have a you
have a girl you have a boy, I picture when I was born, it's like you have a Okay.
Wait a minute, give us a second, we'll get back to you. So, unfortunately, I I was
always in and out of the hospital myself, you know, young kind of went
through a series of reconstructive surgeries, which I think also kind of answers
a lot in terms of my sexual orientation. You know, being being a lesbian, being

�Butch, you know, based on just my overall appearance, you know, I have
unfortunate have higher testosterone levels, which gives me a more
androgynous Look, when people could kind of think that, you know, I'm a
female, but I'm not quite sure.
Alaina Zulli
Well, you have facial hair, which to many people is a clear indication.
Anonymous
Yeah, I mean, but nowadays with so many you know, transgender people, like
some people not too sure whether it's facial hair due to you know, hormones,
right. And, you know, the whole transition over
AZ
So were you raised as a girl or a boy?
Anonymous
I was raised as a girl as a girl, my mom put [compensated?] little dresses on
me and, and stuff, but I think what was unique about my mom was that she, I
think, because I was born with this condition she didn’t really enforce a lot of
like, she didn't, when we went out, I if it was a family event, she put a dress on
me. But really, I played with I played with cars, Star Wars figures, action figures,
I never really had dolls, like my sister was more though, the doll and makeup
type, you know, I played with cars, trucks, I was very active. You know, I would, I
was always jumping around, you know, just like a little boy, I was jumping
around. All my friends were boys. I really never had any little girls as friends. So
I think my mom kind of, you know, growing up, which was, I guess, good. She
never enforced it on me. You know, except for family events. You know? So
that was I think that was really good. In terms of, you know, my upbringing, I
wasn’t a kind of, you know, forced to be this little girl. I just grew up as a
regular child, you know, just enjoying the everyday life of just being a child

�AZ
Let you find yourself and just be yourself.
Anonymous
Yeah, I it's funny because I look back and I know you know, people I always ask
about, you know, when when's the first time you realise you a lesbian. And I
think back and I had to be like seven years old, in the second grade, like, I
used to have a crush on my second grade teacher. And I used to follow her
everywhere, like, you know, when the kids would go to lunch, and I never had
to go to lunch with the kids like I would, she would, I would have lunch with her.
She would take me rollerskating on the weekends. And I slept over her house
one time, but you know, I'm seven years old, and I'm thinking like, yes, sleeping
with this older woman. You know, and then, of course, you know, not every now
and then her boyfriend would tag along, and I will kind of get mad at him, you
know, go rollerskating. And I would kind of knock him down because I didn't
want him to be around. And then she got married, she announced to the class
that she was getting married. And she invited the whole class to her wedding.
And I refused to go. I was so upset. I was devastated. I was like, Oh, my God, I
just lost this woman in my life. And, you know, my mom kind of was trying to
force me to go and I was like, oh, no, no. So I kind of, I always think back and I
was like, wow, like, that was my first like, experience with, you know, like, loving,
not well, not loving, but you know, like, being attracted to another woman.
AZ
Sure. Yeah.
Anonymous
And I guess from Park Slope, we move to the Lower East Side, which was pretty
bad. It wasn't that bad. You know, we still should’ve stayed in Park Slope.

�AZ
Give me a timeframe for when you moved.
Anonymous
We moved when I was about 11 years old. Okay. So, at 11 we moved because
the building that we lived in was being sold. And so my mom just decided, you
know, we should move. So we wound up moving to the lower Eastside in
Manhattan, and it was good there. It was, I think it was also another confusing
time, because there I kind of developed more female friends. You know, like, I
even though I still kind of did boyish things. I had, I started having my female
friends like my best friend. From that moment on she, you know, we were
close. You know, I kind of really didn't look at her in a way that was like, you
know, why I'm attracted to girls. But all her other friends I did. And her sister.
AZ
All the other male friends you mean. Wait, you mean all your male friends
looked over that way?
Anonymous
No, I looked at her other female friends. Like, you know, like, hey, what’s up.
And it was just weird because she would always get me because we were
best friends. I she would always kind of duped me into like, you know, going
out with a guy. Which was, you know, also as confusing because I used to
think, well, well, this is what girls are supposed to do. Like dating. Yeah, like
dating. Like, she wouldn't be interested in some guy. And of course, his friend
would be there. So it's kind of like, you know why I want to be with him. So you
got to be with him. And I kind of felt you know, I think I made a lot of sacrifices
for my friend kind of like going in and just, you know, dating these these guys.
And I guess it wasn't really until I was probably 13. There use there used to be a
military Cadet that was ran by the center precinct. And my brothers actually,
when they were younger, they used to go there. And I wanted to go so they

�finally at one point, they kind of banned girls from being there, I guess
because of some altercation, but they started letting them back in. And I went,
and it was awesome. Because there I met this young woman. I don't know if
I've mentioned her name.
AZ
Well, you can you can choose not to have her name ever. Really?
Anonymous
Well, her name was Selena. And she, you know, she then became my kind of,
like, secret gay friend. You know, we both came out to each other, which was
cool. You know, like, I was like, you know, I you know, when you're young you
kind of feel like you know about you've heard terms, you know, lesbian and
gay. But you never really impact impacts you until you actually meet you
know, somebody that's just like you just like everybody kind of feel like you're
alone until you meet somebody. And we came out to each other then we
started discovering that there was other, you know, lesbians and actually
bisexuals at the time. And in our cadet, you know, which was cool because I
felt like you know, not only was I interested in this kind of military cadet, but
you know, it was also surrounded by, you know, my people, my kind of
discovering a whole new community. And I remember when we, we got on our
bikes one weekend and we kind of went kind of girl hunting. You know, we
were like 13, 14 years old. And we we got on our bikes and we went to it was
about this time, and we ran into all these gay people, like right around here
actually around Washington Square Park, it was we kind of got lost, we didn't
know we were going. We just We just heard that, you know, there are, you
know, gay people in the village. So we, you know, ventured out into the village
to go look for, you know, gay people. And girls. And we had just missed the
Pride Parade. Hmm. You know, so when you would, you know, we're riding our
bikes, and we see like, you know, drones of like women, you know, and girls
and other like, we at first we didn't know what what it was until we actually

�saw what gave it away is we saw some butch women so like, oh, yeah, we
found, we found our Mecca. And we had, we said, Hold this, this has got to be,
you know, there are a bunch girls. So that means there's got to be, you know,
you know, girls that we like femme girls around here. So we proceeded to dry
it, you know, to ride around on our bikes. And we found these, we found these
two girls who were 19 years old, of course, we lied about our age, we said we're
like 17 years old. And we, you know, proceeded to like kind of walk with them,
you know, hitting on them, and, you know, just kind of asking questions. And
after that just became our new, a new hangout spot. And from there, you
know, as I started going to cadets so I was going to I started going from my
timetable was a little screwed up
AZ
That’s ok. When you, if you can clarify. What your age, there abouts
Anonymous
Um, I would say like about between 15 and 16 is when like I started discovering
the village. And you know, we me and my friends then found out about
because I didn't realise that she was part of a youth group, which was called
Project Reach. And in the youth group, they dealt with social issues that was
like kind of my first interaction with a socialisation group where they spoke
about not only lesbian and gay issues, but issues around sexism and
homophobia, and, you know, classes and as well. So I learned a lot going
there just also, once again, just being around, you know, even tighter
community where people that are more of my age rather than me trying to
perpetrate and, you know, oh, they're lesbian trying to pick up all the women.
And from there we we started interacting with our Hetrick Martin Hetrick Martin
Institute, which is actually located here on Astor Place. It's probably one of the
largest gay and lesbian youth groups. It's also located the Harvey Milk schools
there also

�AZ
Oh I think I've seen that. Yeah, can you? Well, later, you’ll have to write that for
me. But Hetrick Martin
Anonymous
At first, they were located by the West Side Highway, but where what people
call the pier. Yes. So they were located there. So project reach was actually
interacting with other youth groups. So once again, my community and I
started seeing that this community is a lot larger. And then we started doing
work with the yes group for Richmond services, which is part of the gay and
lesbian center. So we started doing going over there and networking. And
once I got to the center, I was just, like, amazed, like a whole building just
dedicated for us. And we, that became our new hangout spot. You know, so
about, like, 17 going into 16 going into 17 that became a new, a new hangout
spot, which was actually the corner of 13th Street and Seventh Avenue
AZ
Place. I know
Anonymous
Yeah, yeah. So we used to all kind of that would be the meeting spot. So one
person would like 2 people would get there and then you would wait for the
rest of us, you know, the rest of the people so probably like about six seven
o'clock there was about close to 20 young people there lesbian young people
AZ
And you just stand around on the corner
Anonymous
Yeah, we would all meet up at the corner and then decide what we're gonna
do, which always resulted in ending up at the pier. So we would track down,

�walk down Seventh Avenue, till we got to the beginning of Christopher Street.
And of course, it would take us like two hours just to walk down the block.
Because we would stop and see people we know. And stop at stores, you
know, and, of course, it was all about fashion, even when I was younger, you
know, we used to stop and look at the stores and the clothing. You know,
because back then there used to be a lot of, I think it happens now. But
unfortunately, I'm kind of out of the loop, there used to be a lot of one was
called balls, balls. Yeah, they were basically many fashion shows that there
was small communities or houses that were ran by, you know, kind of, they
had mothers, which were predominantly like gay men, and by House fathers,
which was sometimes, you know, the butcher, lesbians, or sometimes they
would just be a gay. Another gay gentleman that was, I guess, a little bit more
butcher than the mother. And they would hold these balls, these kind of, kind
of mini fashion shows, and people would walk, like literally walk down this
catwalk for different categories. So some would run down, some would walk
for categories that we would call face, which will cover like you had a girl face.
So some of the most feminine gay boys would walk for that category, or they
had what was called boy realness. And some of the butch women would
actually walk in the whole thing was about passing. It was like, we had our
own little kind of fashion Yeah, show, which I don't know if you've ever seen the
movie. And you may want to pick it up, it's called Paris is burning.
Paris is burning actually talks about the beginnings of the whole ball thing
happened like in the early like, 80s. And, I don't know, if you've also ever seen
that show America's Top Model, Tyra Banks, yeah, she actually has a
gentleman in there, his name is Willi
Ninja. And his house was actually called the House of Ninja. And he was the
head mother, and they, he actually teaches these these models how to walk,
how to walk down the runway. So, we would go to these different balls
whenever we found out and we would go in and we would cheer for different
people that will walk different different categories. And, you know, we will go

�shopping with some people because, you know, you needed to have the
latest and greatest clothes. And I think the probably I used to have the most
fun when I used to go with the, with the boys, the Gay Boys, because they went
by, you know, they would buy these extravagant, you know, dresses, and they
would so funny, they would, they would buy them and keep the tabs on them,
you know, because it was so expensive. Yeah. And then they would use it in a
ball and then have it dry cleaned, and then return the return the dress
AZ
So would they buy, like down in Soho, they would get designer clothes
Anonymous
They would get either in Soho, depending on how much money they had, you
know, like you know, depending on where were they unfortunately, some of
them were street workers. So they would get money that way some of them
sold drugs, you know. So, a lot of lots of times I would also go to we would go
and go to different thrift shops and kind of put together these ensembles of
different clothes. Which weren’t bad, you know, you could find like really hot
clothes in a thrift store and still look still a good like I love thrift stores. And so
we would go and go to these different ball scenes and stuff. And it was it was
awesome
AZ
That's this is fascinating. Okay, so tell me more about the houses. Was it like
those shelters?
Anonymous
No, no, no, they were just like groups
AZ
They were just like social groups

�Anonymous
Yeah, they were just social groups. So you were associated like, you know
each house was known for different you know, they will have these you will go
to these balls. And they will be like, you know, like the top winners. You know,
they would kind of make their own houses. So they were like the best and in
their in you know, whatever category they were. And it was like, you know, I
want to call them almost like gay gangs. Yeah, you know, where you will
belong to a specific house right they have the house of ninja they have the
house of Pandora's, they have the house extravaganza. And, you know, there
was all these people that were part of it. Matter of fact, if you ever seen
Madonna's blonde Blonde Ambition tour, where she did the the whole voguing
thing there. And there's three gentlemen that she actually has in there that
were part of those houses and Madonna herself would actually sometimes
appear at these mini balls, you know, which sometimes would be held at, I
been to 2 of them one time that were held at the sound factory. Back then the
rumor was that Madonna actually owned the part of the sound factory Junior
Vasquez which was a famous DJ and still is used to DJ there. And she would
come and that's actually where she found some of her dancers from this from
this ball scene, and they would go now back then there was this whole
voguing kind of scene. You know which people were done in in the houses
AZ
Can you explain voguing?
Anonymous
Voguing is a dance style that originated I think originated out of the ball
scene. And it could be anything from like, like hand gestures to the way they
move, you know, the way they move their hands and they the way they would
pose. Voguing actually came out of there and then people would do these
moves these dance moves that were just kind of like voguing is a is a is I think

�a cross between dancing and posing. And it's kind of a little hard to explain it
where it's easier to see. Unfortunately, I'm butch so I don’t know how to vogue
voguing was more voguing was more you know, kind of like the gay guys
then. So I didn't unfortunately, I didn’t kind of I'm really bad at it. I tried the one
time terrible. But it was it was nice. Like, you know, I really think that that's
where my thing of fashion came from. You know, being around the gay young
people and everything, everything was about fashion. Everything was about
fashion like back then we used to call it used to be called labels. And there
was even a category for that you even walked for you walk down this runway
for you know, your category that you were walking for was called labels. And it
was about who had the best clothes on the most the most expensive clothes
or even you know the most of the time it kind of fell in the category of the
most expensive clothes or even the somebody would get a Louis Vuitton you
know shirt or something or Versace pants you know, I don't I'm not too sure
how big bootlegging was back then and they actually really weren't Yeah,
these designer these designer clothes but the most of the time they were you
know, but it was it was good. You know that actually from there I wanted to
actually apply for fashion industries High School. I was the only person in my
junior high school actually got accepted to fashion industries. I actually went
in for merchandising someone to design in I wanted to design like a Windows
like displays. And that that became also because a movie mannequin where
he you know, created these extravagant window displays. And I could always
remember a few of my friends going and just seeing you know, the Macy's
windows, Bloomingdale's, Windows, or even the way that display the way the
clothes are put together. Unfortunately, they work too well with me. I got into a
lot of fights
AZ
At the school itself?
Anonymous

�In fashion industries. Yeah. I think you know, because, because I'm
androgynous I used to always get, you know, are you a girl or are you a boy
and guys, of course, you know, didn’t like, the fact that I think that they didn't
know, or, you know, if they figured out I was a (barrow?) it was like, Oh, well,
you know, she's a lesbian, she Butch, you know, so that became a problem. So
my mom transferred me out of the school and kind of put me in my zone
school, which happened to be two blocks away, which was through a part of
high school
AZ
And this was in the Lower East Side
Anonymous
Yes, the Lower East Side. It was literally three blocks away from my house,
which sucks because I could never cut class without getting caught. And that
school was good. I remember being there. And I remember there used to be
this one young woman that stood out she kind of stood to herself. And to this
day, like I kinda see her but really, I know her because of who she is. You know,
in terms of knowing somebody from school, but not really kind of creating a
relationship with them. Her name was Lee, and she was like, she made me
look femme so much. Like she was like Butch all the way. And I can remember
like seeing her, like, get a lot of, you know, like a lot of shit in school. Because,
you know, sexuality and just the way she looked like she had her head shaved,
which, back then I guess really wasn't acceptable for young women, you
know. And she's got a lot of us and I used to feel so bad. And, you know, I used
to always want to kind of rate reach out, but I always felt, the whole safety
thing where I kind of didn't want to put myself in that position because I just
felt like I got a lot of shit for just looking where I was. And I didn't even have a
shaved head. And I didn't really be as butch she was, you know, they kind of
just associated with me being Butch because the way I dressed I didn't dress
feminine. I dressed in jeans, sneakers, you know t-shirt.

�AZ
What was your hair like?
Anonymous
My hair was short, kind of the way it is now. And then I like as fashion started
changing, I let my hair grow. I kind of had this Steven Seagal type haircut
going on with a, I had a ponytail that kind of grew back. And I think a lot of that
happened because my friend started growing her hair that way. And since we
were so tight, we kind of brought it the same the same way. And we we just
continued going in the village and I remember there was a prom. They had a
prom. Unfortunately, when I graduated high school, I couldn't attend my prom.
I mean, I could have but there was the whole thing on you know, being stared
at what was I going to wear? You know, like, can I go there wearing a tuxedo
and have to get shit about it? Or do I have to wear a dress?
AZ
Were there any official rules about it?
Anonymous
There wasn’t. I mean, I think that never really is because I don't think they can
enforce it
AZ
They do it in some states. But I don't know of any…
Anonymous
In terms of the girls having to dress?
AZ
Like a girl can’t go with a girl basically

�Anonymous
I don't think I was worried about bringing anybody. If I would have went I
probably would have went with my with my friend Josephine, which was my
best friend that used to make me date boys, who was kind of devastated
after she found out that I started you know, being with girls, and she used to
always taunt me with Madonna used to have the song, La Isla Bonita. And in
the song she talks about when a girl loves a boy and a boy loves a girl. So my
friend used to, you know, every time that part came, like emphasize it. She will
look at me and go when a girl loves a boy and a boy loves a girl.
AZ
After you came out to her?
Anonymous
After I came out. But um, she I think she was just doing that because she was
just teasing me. You know, like she was really cool I didn’t unlike, unlike most
people's experiences, and I'd say mine coming out was a little not kind of
lucky. But it wasn't that hard. My mom kind of found out because she read my
diary, which I actually left my diary in a car. And one of her friends found it
and gave it to her. So I was a little awkward
AZ
How old were you?
Anonymous
17 when she found out but I think you know mom's always know. Yeah, you
know, so. I don't put dresses. I don't put dresses on there nothing feminine
about me. You know, I don't bring guys home. You know, I never talk about
boyfriends. So, you know, she just kind of did her own little you know, when she
when I came in the house, she kind of just not threw it at me she kind of just

�like tossed it. And and I can remember when she tossed it because she she
made this comment like she said she said cheers to your night in heaven or
something, because unfortunately it was talked about my first sexual
experience in in the, in my diary. I was just kind of like frozen when she when
she said it and that was kind of the only thing she said after that, like we never
she never you know, we didn't sit down and talk about it. You know, it was just
kind of like that was a one little comment and life just kind of went on. Which I
don't know if it was a good thing, but it seemed to work itself now. Yeah. That's
the I think I got a little scattered there, timeline.
AZ
Tell me more about what when you were talking about the balls. You
mentioned what the boys wore. The girls I mean, were the girls involved with it
Anonymous
Yes, yes, the girls were and the girls it, I think what was funny is when the kind
of femme girls would go against the femme guys for the same category, you
know, because they had a girl realness and even femmes would walk for this
category, you know, competing against, like these very feminine gay boys.
And I think the funniest thing was when the boys used to win. Right? And the
same thing with like, see the, I think the whole bunch femme thing is is an
attitude, or I think I want to say attitude, you know, or kind of I think it's attitude
because I think I kind of, you know, put out this kind of very rough attitudes
sometimes, you know, not so much frail or even then ethical being
stereotypically feminine, women are frail as well.
AZ
No but feminine does usually imply frailty culturally. So there were say butch
women walking in these balls?
Anonymous

�Yeah we would walk like I would walk for boy realness. And I would sometimes
go against like you know the kind of like butch gay boys. You know and it was
almost the same thing like you know like here is a butch woman you know
winning this category you know that was kind of like actual like you are a boy
and you can’t win it like what’s up with that. And then after that it kind of faded
like you know the the butch boys after that didn’t really walk for realness they
kind of they kind of excuse me. A new category started coming out so then
they had like b boy realness. Or and b boy realness was all about you know a
straight boy passing as a I mean a gay boy walking this category trying to act
straight. Like he would act thug. You know so he would have the baggy
clothes on and you know the Tommy Hilfiger hoody you know the hat and he
would walk and try to pass as a straight boy. And it’s funny because he’s
walking for this category that he wins and then you see the gay boy kind of
come out and they it was just fun. Like the different then it started after a while
it started getting boring because like new categories and things started
coming out and then you know there started to be a lot of animosity amongst
you know people you know and then it started becoming a thing where
people then started fighting like you know you would go to a ball and I can
remember like towards the end when I stopped going like I went half the time
to kind of watch my friend’s back. Because it, a fight always broke out
AZ
Over who won?
Anonymous
Over who won or a disagreement about who won or you know it started
coming about you know like things that kinds you know fight about. Like oh
well you aint wearing real labels like your labels aint real. You know like your
wearing bootleg clothing. Or you know, because it was such a tight
community sometimes people would sleep at somebody else’s house and so
somebody would be accused of stealing articles of clothing from each other.

�You know so after that when people starting fighting over things it just didn’t
become fun anymore. You know it was just kinda like I don’t want to go see
what fight is gonna break out I want to go to have fun
AZ
So you know how gay men, they have their own style, the pants are tight, they
wear tight little shirts, was there ever a lesbian style that you could say was
analogous?
Anonymous
I would say it was probably the b boy style. Because it was all about us like
passing. In terms of butch like I could only talk about like femme girls wore
you know femme clothing they wore you know tight jeans tight shirts you
know occasionally they wore baggy clothes but they were still they still wore it
in a feminine way. You know they would still have makeup on they would wear
even the colours the colours were you know feminine colours pink colours you
know pastel powder blues and stuff. Where the butches wore you know we
wore the big sweatshirts with baseball caps on. We wore jeans you know
sneakers then you know timberlands started becoming a new thing so we
graduated to timberlands and for us it was just all about passing
AZ
So your intention was to look like a straight male?
Anonymous
Yeah were kinda like our intention was to to pass as much as possible but
still…
AZ
Can you define pass?

�Anonymous
Like right now if I wanted to I could get up and walk to the mens room If I
wanted to
AZ
Ok so passing
Anonymous
Passing is basically going through the day or going like being able to pass as
a male. You know so we would walk into a store and they would be like excuse
me sir. So we would be able to pass or being able to you know we would go
because women’s bathrooms always got lines like we would walk into the
mens bathroom and not hear anything about it. Like that’s passing like going
through life or going through everyday with you know just being thought
people just looking at you and assuming that you’re you know that you’re a
male
AZ
Right. And is that something that you want? Have you always wanted that?
Anonymous
I, I just always wanted to always kinda be me. Like I'm a very individual sort of
self like I don’t I don’t really like labels. Like I don’t like being categorized you
know like I like wearing what I like wearing what I like to wear you know. Right
now well my clothes are male kind of orientated you know I work for a urban
clothing company so a lot of my clothes is. I wear mens clothes because
womens clothes are tighter, I don’t like em at all
Alaina
Why?

�Anonymous
I mean on me. I think I’m built too much, I’m built too much like a guy to kind of
wear feminine clothes, I think if I put on feminine clothes I kind of look like
probably a drag queen so
AZ
So you feel uncomfortable in
Anonymous
Yes, even growing up I never liked to wear dresses. Now that I think about it
my mom made me wear a dress one time to, for picture day in elementary
school, and I cried all day. Because yeah at a young age I had I started
developing body hair so I had hairy legs you know I had hair on my arms and I
cried all day because she made me go to school in this dress with these little
socks on so my legs were exposed. And I was just like, it was never because
you know kids are cruel you know kids kids say you know people would look at
me and go oh you’re ugly look at your legs like you know I’d be called a beast
you know. And it was just I hated it it was so bad like they was really, it sucked
AZ
Yeah
Anonymous
It’s and then it’s crazy now that we’re talking like all these memories start
coming out and in in the same elementary school I was actually banned from
school unless I wore a dress every day to school. Because I was so active,
which was another thing and now that I think about it my mom could have
actually sued because I went to a public school I didn’t go to a private school
AZ
Did they have uniforms?

�Anonymous
No, we wore everyday clothes you know whatever like my mom you know I
had school clothes and I had play clothes. Obviously my play clothes were
probably a little stained and had holes in them and you know my my school
clothes were nicer and newer and they forbid me to wear regular clothes I
had to wear a dress. They told me they would not allow me back in school
unless I wore a dress because I was too active
AZ
Oh so they wanted to keep you from being active…
Anonymous
They thought that if they put me in a dress that it would keep me from running
around and jumping because they they thought that you know a little girls
they were like I was too active for a little girl. You know I didn’t act like the little
girls I was I would get into fights I was climbing I was always with the little
boys and never with the little girls. And they made me wear a dress everyday
which was another thing that I hated. Like I mean I kind of didn’t have a choice
you know my mom unfortunately I guess you know she didn’t know enough to
kind of protest it. And it was towards the end of the year so for probably like
the last two weeks of school you know I had to deal with it [inaudible] I hated
it
AZ
Its a creative answer to solution
Anonymous
Yeah
AZ

�So lets fast forward to now you work in the fashion industry. How many
lesbians are there? Are there …
Anonymous
At work because I work for urban clothing company and I’m talking about
urban talking about I work for Rocawear which is right up there with
[inaudible] and you know everybody knows Jay Z which is you know CEO of
Roc-A-Fella records. And unfortunately you, being gay in an urban society
you know what I mean is, not to say that it’s unheard of but you know you
hear even the lyrics you hear about you know people being you know you
can’t be gay. Basically in in urban society and it’s crazy because when I first
started working there I remember this woman who worked in [accounts
receivable?] department. And you could clearly tell she was a woman it was
nothing you know she didn’t look like butch or androgynous like can look at
her and say is that a woman or is that a man. But she wore pantsuits, not men
pantsuits, they have pantsuits for women she wore pantsuits. And I remember
that they used to call her a shim which I thought was once again excuse me
which I thought was fucked up
AZ
That’s like she him?
Anonymous
Yes and I used to always like I would like I would say one of the biggest
advantages of being androgynous is people always think you’re male. I could
put my ID card in front of anybody and as as much as it says female you
know you know they don’t look at that people you know sex is not a thing that
people actually pay attention to on a card on an identification.They’re kind of
always looking at either your name or your your date of birth. So when I
started working at Rocawear they just automatically assumed I was a guy.
You know and I needed a job and I actually got the job through a temp

�agency. So I kind of really didn’t, because it was a temp agency I didn’t think I
was actually gonna be there long. So I kind of didn’t correct anybody or make
a big thing about it and then even more after they I used to hear them say
this. And I asked I used to ask I said why do you call her a shim like why do you
call her that? And they used to be like look at her, look at the way she dresses
and I would be like what’s wrong with the way she dresses? Like she has a
pantsuit on it’s not a mens suit its a womans suit. And they used to be like you
know but just look at her shes you know shes shes she looks like a man. She
doesn’t look like a man, she’s a woman she’s wearing a pantsuit like what’s
the problem. And I would start getting into arguments but and then kind of
backed off to kind of not draw and I think the woman was was oblivious to it
because they would call her a shim to her face and should laugh and go
yeah I’m a shim. And I don’t think she kind of knew what they were saying
about her and then she would she would talk about that she had a boyfriend.
And of course they would all make fun of her and be like oh your full of shit
you know you got a boyfriend, which was like still once again messed up. And
so fortunately I didn’t realize it but I I then became full time.
At the time I worked when I first started at at Rocawear I worked in the internet
department. So I used to basically coordinate what you see on the website.
You know getting images together, coordinating photo shoots with the
clothes, customer service, basically everything. And they had another des
they brought in this new designer and I remember his name was David Ayala
he was a gay man and clearly gay flaming as hell. You know cool, you know
cool guy and people used to make fun of him. Like like you know they would
joke with him but of course always joke with him in like a homophobic way.
You know like they would say they would say stupid stuff like you know like
how was that dick last night or something like that. Like this is a urban like
thing so they didn’t give a shit like there was no biting their tongues there was
nothing you know like the office is clearly homophobic. Like people say they
don’t have a problem with it you know but you hear like the responses and the

�things that they say the snickering like underneath their breath. And he used
to get a lot of crap but I think he just used to joke it off he was probably
making a crapload of money for being for being a head designer
AZ
Right, yeah, sure
Anonymous
And then once again the company just grew you know and now I work I I
started about three years ago working for the internet department I was
working for the IT department. Because the internet they actually started
outsourcing to a company called E fashions, which also runs JLo site baby fat.
So I was actually going to be let go. And by the grace of God, I was saved by
my boss to come and work in the IT department because Rocawear then
started getting big started blowing up started becoming more popular. So
they needed more people. And from there we move to 1411 Broadway, which is
the fashion district that's the big building that got the if you’ve seen it’s got the
giant button.
AZ
Oh!
Anonymous
That's the building I work in. And so we expanded we actually used to be 463 7
Avenue, and it became bigger and then they moved to to 1411 Broadway and
staff started you know, more people production started getting bigger
designs got a bit bigger. And there are people that you could kind of I want to
say, you know, when you’re gay, you have gaydar, you kind of know, you know
who's or you suspect. And people just ridicule them like you could. I mean, I
always thought I always kept it to myself. And like you know I would say in my
head oh, she looks like shes gay and then they started this in so funny. I think

�nobody messed with him because he was he was a big guy, there was a
woven designer [move insurance?] or like these button up shirts. Yeah. And
his name was Lesley. And he was he was out. He was clearly out. He's gay.
Everything about him. Right. He talked, you could clearly tell as soon as he
talked to you, he was gay. And I think nobody said anything to him because I
think they were scared of him. You know.
AZ
Because he was physically.
Anonymous
He was physically big. You know, like, he was very muscular. He was a big,
muscular black guy. And he was Canadian. I didn't know that. But it kind of
quieted down a little bit, because I think people kind of curbed their tone
around him because he would look like he didn't. He was a person that you
would say something that he would just sit there and just, you know, what we
call read. Like, he would just read you. You know.
AZ
What does that mean?

Anonymous
Read is like a gay term in terms of is a gay word for like, telling you off.
AZ
Okay.
Anonymous
Like he would simply put his hand on his head. He would do the whole finger
gesture. And it's even funnier when you got this kind of big muscular guy.

�AZ
Yeah.
Anonymous
Like you know, like, scolding you, like, how you probably would see a younger,
you know, petite woman like scolding.
AZ
Yeah, yeah.
Anonymous
You know, somebody and I think he just scared the shit out of people. Yeah, I
was like, in the corner. But yes. You know, but, you know, it makes me sad
sometime that I can't be like, who I am there. You know, like, my biggest fear, I
think at work is people finding out. You know, and it's come like real close at
times. When people find it out.
AZ
Yeah
Anonymous
Because we have sample sales. Rokawear has these awesome sample sales.
I got your number I'll let you know. And I, they open it to the public from like,
the first hour. It's it's just employees, and then they open it to the public. And
there was this guy who I actually used to go out with his friend when I was
younger, when I was kind of going through my you know what am I phase
straight or or gay? And he comes to every sample sale.
AZ
Does he recognise you?

�Anonymous
I don't let him like I've came real close where I've I've gone in. And I've saw him
and I kind of timed real quick, before he didn't even see me. And it was funny
one time I went in to talk to Michelle, which is actually J sister, when she works
there, she's real cool. And I went in, I was like Michelle, and I said, Michelle, he
kind of like I, I saw him like a profile, like view of him and he went to turn. And
when I saw him, I did kind of like ran out of room. So Michelle was like
[redacted] what. And I'm like, nothing, I'll talk to you later.
AZ
That's amazing that you have to do that.
Anonymous
Like every sample, like one every time we have a sample sale I avoid, like
passing like the office is huge so I could kind of get to where I need to go
through any kind of like, I could just. Sometimes I have to literally walk around
the whole entire office to get to the stairs [inaudible]. Or I’ll leave and just take
the elevator up one floor, because we have two floors. So I'll take the elevator
to the next floor with my office is or cubicle. And just to avoid, just to avoid. It's,
it's really crazy.
AZ
That is something else, yeah. To me, it's like New York City this day.
Anonymous
But I mean, once again, I work in, I work in a urban culture where, you know, it's
really not acceptable to be to be gay or lesbian. And then all the women in
my office are kind of like, you know, there are some attractive women. So of
course, if you're don't look like the typical woman, you know, you're that oddity,
you know, so it just, you know, sometimes I think, you know, I shouldn't be here,

�and all like that that's not fair. To myself. Like, I feel like sometimes I'm not
being true to myself, because I kind of lead this double life. You know, but
unfortunately, I found a career that I really liked. And I made a lot of contacts, I
kind of put it to the side, you know, so I could make more women get that 30%
off for wholesalers.
AZ
So how are you doing? Are you getting tired?
Anonymous
No, I am good. You tired? Break or Anything?

AZ
No, I have so many questions. I don't know how much contact you had with
the rest of the fashion industry. But do you think that other places in fashion
would be as bad?
Anonymous
As long as they're not urban, I don't think they are. I think it's only the urban,
like, clothing companies that we you you kind of fall into that. You know, that
where its just not acceptable. Like, you could probably like I'm pretty sure in
every in I'm pretty sure there are gay people in Rockafella records that are
putting their gay people in Sean John, you know, even even in the in the other
clothing companies like Echo. Probably [Nietzsche?], you know, there are there
people everywhere, but I just think that it's just, I feel bad. I feel like if they could
be who they are, and be openly gay at the job like I commend them. Like and,
you know, I think it's, I think it's different for men than it is for women. I think the
men because you think about fashion, sometimes you think, you know, if a
guy's a designer, he's gay. They used to, you know, like, he's a designer, he's
gay. So it's kinda like, you know, they already fall in that category. And, you

�know, their stereotypes, I say, into that category. So, but I think when it's a
woman, it's still like, I think if it's, if she's femme, you know, she kind of just
passes, you know, but if you're Butch, then you're hit with that whole oh you
want to be a man or you haven't had a guy to give it to correct or, or
something like you’re just considered like, odder than odd. You know, I mean,
like, you're just worse than that gay designer. But we could deal with him. He's
gay. We know. He's a designer, you know, but you're there's something wrong
with you.
AZ
Yeah.
Anonymous
So but I think they're I think, you know, I think there are gay and lesbian in
every single aspect of you know, in fashion. I mean regardless in urban, I think
they’re everywhere.
AZ
You just don’t know who they are.
Anonymous
No, I wish they did. I wish I did. You know, like, if I could go to a company where
I know that there were probably other gay and lesbian people that were out
like I would in a heartbeat.
AZ
My boss is Lesbian actually. And her partner was the also the business
partner. But that's besides the point. And actually, I think you've hit everything.
Is there anything else you want to talk about?
Anonymous

�Is there anything else you wanna know?
AZ
Let me see. Not really, let’s end there. Okay. Thank you very much. This has
been an excellent interview.

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                    <text>SAVING PRESERVATION STORIES:&#13;
DIVERSITY AND THE OUTERBOROUGHS&#13;
&#13;
The Reminiscences of&#13;
Anne Maguire and Maxine Wolfe&#13;
&#13;
2017, New York Preservation Archive Project&#13;
&#13;
�PREFACE&#13;
The following oral history is the result of a recorded interview with Anne Maguire and Maxine&#13;
Wolfe conducted by Interviewer Liz H. Strong on November 5, 2017. This interview is part of&#13;
the Saving Preservation Stories: Diversity and the Outer Boroughs oral history project.&#13;
The reader is asked to bear in mind that s/he is reading a verbatim transcript of the spoken word,&#13;
rather than written prose. The views expressed in this oral history interview do not necessarily&#13;
reflect the views of the New York Preservation Archive Project.&#13;
The Lesbian Avengers, founded in the early 1990s, was an action group that worked to raise&#13;
public awareness of lesbian issues. The first action the new group took was to advocate for&#13;
rainbow curriculum in New York Public Schools by organizing a march and event at a public&#13;
school in Queens. Alice Austen House was brought to their attention by Amy Khoudari who was&#13;
at that time writing her Ph.D. dissertation on Alice Austen. The Lesbian Avengers staged a&#13;
protest on the day of a nautical festival, dressed in old-style bathing suits as lifeguards, bearing&#13;
life preservers with “Dyke Preserver” written on them. They stated that the board of the Alice&#13;
Austen House was denying Alice Austen’s existence as a lesbian and were advocating for the&#13;
museum to tell the whole story of her life, including her partner Gertrude Tate who was&#13;
unmentioned at that time. Both Maguire and Wolfe comment on the erasure of lesbian’s&#13;
contributions to the modern LGBTQ [Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer] movement&#13;
and in history. They also speak about the importance of visibility of lesbian and gay history in&#13;
general, and lesbian figures and history in particular, which has been under-represented, noting&#13;
that the Alice Austen House is the first queer national historic landmark to be given to a woman.&#13;
Political and lesbians activists, Anne Maguire and Maxine Wolfe founded the Lesbian Avengers&#13;
in the early 1990s. Anne Maguire, originally from Dublin, Ireland, came to New York City in&#13;
1987 and was one of the founders of ILGO, the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization. Maxine&#13;
Wolfe, a native of Brooklyn, was a professor at the City University of New York for over thirty&#13;
years and before she retired. She now volunteers with the Lesbian Herstory Archives and&#13;
previously was active with ACT UP.&#13;
&#13;
�Transcriptionist: Matthew Geesey&#13;
&#13;
Session: 1&#13;
&#13;
Interviewee: Anne Maguire, Maxine Wolfe&#13;
&#13;
Location: Brooklyn, New York, NY&#13;
&#13;
Interviewer: Liz H. Strong (Q1), Anthony&#13;
&#13;
Date: November 5, 2017&#13;
&#13;
Bellove (Q2)&#13;
&#13;
Q1: All right.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Lights on. Watch your eyes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Okay.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: And it is November 5, 2017. We are at the home of Maxine Wolfe with her dear&#13;
friend, Anne—&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Maguire.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Maguire, a nice Italian name. And we’re at Park Slope, Brooklyn. And here we go,&#13;
clapping.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Anthony Bellov is the videographer—&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Yes, Anthony Bellov—&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 2&#13;
Q1: Liz is the interviewer; this is for the New York Preservation Archive Project.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: That’s all right. Now I’ll clap again.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: All right, thank you so much for being with us. As I said, we like to learn a little bit&#13;
about who you are to get started. So each of you in turn let me know when and where you&#13;
were born and a little bit about your life growing up.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Okay, I’ll start, Maxine Wolfe. I was born—you asked me where I was born. I&#13;
was born in Brooklyn, New York in Maimonides Hospital, which is not too far from here.&#13;
I grew up in Brooklyn and I’ve lived in Brooklyn all my life except for two years when I&#13;
lived in Copenhagen actually.&#13;
&#13;
So I moved to Park Slope in 1970. Otherwise I lived in Borough Park, Flatbush,&#13;
Midwood, everywhere in Brooklyn you could live. And I moved to this house thirty-three&#13;
years ago. Before then, I was a renter who was gentrified out three times as Park Slope&#13;
got gentrified.&#13;
&#13;
I’ve been a lesbian activist for a very long time. I’ve been a political organizer for a really&#13;
long time in lots of different movements. I have two daughters who are now in their—one&#13;
is fifty and the other is forty-seven. And that’s about it. I guess it’s good enough unless&#13;
you need more information.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 3&#13;
Q1: I’m going to ask some follow-up questions. How did you—I guess to go back&#13;
further, just tell me a little bit about your family life as a kid and what your life growing&#13;
up was like.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: My mother was an immigrant. She came to this country when she was fourteen&#13;
years old in 1927 and she was the first person—her father was here beforehand. He came&#13;
somewhat earlier, like seven years earlier and sent for her as the first person. And then&#13;
when Hitler was elected in 1933, he borrowed money and got everybody else out. So her&#13;
mother, my grandmother and my two uncles and one aunt came in 1933. We grew up in&#13;
Borough Park. My father’s family was originally from Austria and then moved to&#13;
England and then came here but they were here in the early part of the twentieth century.&#13;
He was the only one of his siblings that was born here. His other siblings were born in&#13;
Europe.&#13;
&#13;
I grew up in Borough Park and I went to PS 131 and I went to [John J.] Pershing Junior&#13;
High School [I.S. 220] and New Utrecht High School. And then I went to Brooklyn&#13;
College and I stayed at the City University [of New York] and got my Ph.D. Then I&#13;
became a professor at the graduate school of the City University in 1969-1970 and I&#13;
taught for thirty-some odd years and then I retired. And put my full time into both the&#13;
Lesbian Herstory Archives which I started volunteering at in 1984 and I still am a&#13;
volunteer there and a coordinator and doing all kinds of other political work which I’ve&#13;
done since I was a high school student.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 4&#13;
Q1: Talk to me about that transition in high school of getting involved in activism and&#13;
politics.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I always tell this story, which there was a girl that lived in my neighborhood&#13;
whose parents were very political and she invited me one time to hear Pete Seeger sing&#13;
when he was blacklisted. And he sang This Land is Made for You and Me and I believed&#13;
him. Seriously, that sounds stupid but it was true. I always—my family was not political&#13;
at all. My mother and father were not formally political or even at all political in the&#13;
sense that people think about it. Although from what I understand my grandfather was&#13;
but I never knew him. My grandmother just became more religious as she got older but&#13;
he died five years after he brought everybody to this country. So she was alone most of&#13;
that time.&#13;
&#13;
But they always had basic politics, in the sense of sort of very common sense working&#13;
class politics. For instance, once I asked my mother who she was voting for. I think I&#13;
must have been eleven. It’s when Adlai [E.] Stevenson [II] was running and she said she&#13;
wasn’t voting and I gave her a big argument about being an immigrant and why wasn’t&#13;
she voting. And her answer was, “Because none of them are for us. None of them are for&#13;
the working people.” That was my mother, okay [laughs].&#13;
&#13;
My father just never basically said much about it but she had those kinds of basic&#13;
understandings of the world. And she made us stay out of school when it was the Jewish&#13;
holidays even though she wasn’t religious at all in the sense of highly religious because&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 5&#13;
she said, “You always let people know you’re a Jew.” So that was the sort of legacy of&#13;
the Holocaust and losing so many people in her family. You always let people know&#13;
you’re a Jew.&#13;
&#13;
So those kinds of basic politics and I always felt—I think the first stuff that I got involved&#13;
in was about the Civil Rights Movement. Well, actually [Joseph] McCarthy probably&#13;
because I remember watching the McCarthy hearings at a neighbor’s house, but also&#13;
anything that had to do with civil rights. It just seemed like totally natural to me that&#13;
something was wrong with the world, that people of color were not—especially AfricanAmericans were not being treated right in this country.&#13;
&#13;
So that’s sort of my history. Then I just went from there to everything else. I did antiapartheid stuff, I did work about unions. I always feel like I have to be out there doing&#13;
something. It’s basically my modus operandi. I just feel like with the world being the way&#13;
it is, people have to speak up. And I think that was one of the premises what I learned&#13;
from my family, was that people have to speak up.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Thank you. I’m going to ask you to go on the same journey. Start telling me when&#13;
and where you were born and just a little bit about your life.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Okay, I was born in Dublin in Ireland in 1962 and grew up there, left when I&#13;
was twenty-five and came here to New York in 1987. So I’ve been here for thirty years&#13;
this year. October 1 was my thirtieth anniversary which I had forgotten until now.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 6&#13;
&#13;
So I grew up in Ireland, attended Catholic school, Ireland’s version of public school, on&#13;
the north side of Dublin, the eldest of four kids and also it’s interesting to hear the stories.&#13;
I also started to become kind of political or aware of politics in high school. It was around&#13;
the prisoner, Irish Republican prisoner stuff and the Dirty Protest or the Blanket Protest&#13;
as it was called because prisoners wanted to be treated as political prisoners—Irish&#13;
Republican prisoners in the north of Ireland, not in the south where I grew up. And they&#13;
were not being treated as political prisoners. They were in the regular criminal status.&#13;
&#13;
It culminated in what was called the Dirty Protest. So basically they weren’t allowed to&#13;
clean out their cells. I mean I’m not going to go into details because it was so kind of&#13;
disgusting but I was in the city when I was about fourteen in Dublin on a Saturday and&#13;
there was a big protest going through the streets. There were people just wearing blankets&#13;
because that was another term for it, it was also called the Blanket Protest because they&#13;
refused to wear prison clothing. So the authorities decided no clothing then. These&#13;
prisoners wore blankets.&#13;
&#13;
So it was the Blanket or the Dirty Protest and I do very clearly remember standing and&#13;
not being able to cross O’Connell Street and being furious that I couldn’t go about my&#13;
business because of this stupid protest. What were they doing down here anyway? It had&#13;
nothing to do with us in the south of Ireland.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 7&#13;
Then just for a split second, I thought, you actually don’t know anything about this, so&#13;
until you learn a little bit about why these people are marching in the streets in blankets&#13;
when it’s freezing cold, go off and like read about it or learn about it. I also had the&#13;
thought at the same time of, uh oh, this is not good because if I think this now and I go&#13;
and do the reading and figure out what’s going on and I think it’s wrong, then I have to&#13;
do something.&#13;
&#13;
So it was kind of like uh, oh, this is trouble. I know this is trouble. I can already tell this&#13;
is trouble. I guess that was the beginning of my road to trouble [laughter]. I’m causing&#13;
trouble and feeling like this is what you have to do sometimes. You should probably ask&#13;
a follow-up [unclear] [laughter].&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I will, yes. I’m just wondering—I’m waiting for you to finish your thought if you had&#13;
more but from there, tell me how you went about causing trouble. What were some of&#13;
your first engagements?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: So the first demonstration I went on, I was still in high school and it was during&#13;
the hunger strike. This was under Margaret [H.] Thatcher, same battle more or less, but&#13;
the next phase of it. It was when Bobby [Robert G.] Sands died. So he was the first of ten&#13;
political prisoners who died on hunger strike. When it happened, the country was kind of&#13;
waiting and waiting and waiting and not actually believing it would happen and thinking&#13;
Thatcher would have to figure out something. Then it came on the news that Bobby&#13;
Sands had died.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 8&#13;
&#13;
And I think I was fifteen and my brother was a year younger than me and we just sat at&#13;
home, looking at each other and then thought we need to go into the city center. It was&#13;
just an automatic thing. We went into the center of Dublin, outside the general post&#13;
office, which is kind of a spot—you just knew to go. We knew to go there. There was a&#13;
big demonstration. We were still very young. We didn’t understand everything but it was&#13;
a feeling of absolute rage and disbelief, and needing to do something, needing to be able&#13;
to put all that fury and confusion and grief into something.&#13;
&#13;
So we showed up at this thing and that was basically for both of us. He also got&#13;
personally involved and that’s where I started. I started with going on demonstrations,&#13;
going on marches, going to meetings. Then from there, I eventually found some people&#13;
that I was interested in hearing their point of views.&#13;
&#13;
So I would go to things that they were doing in particular. That’s where I learned about&#13;
feminism. There were a huge amount of feminists involved. So it was really political&#13;
prisoner stuff where I started and then the rest of my work in Ireland really was around&#13;
reproductive rights, abortion stuff, very little lesbian and gay stuff.&#13;
&#13;
I also worked on two general election campaigns for the civil rights leader, Bernadette&#13;
Devlin McAliskey, who ran against the Taoiseach (Prime Minister), and leader of the&#13;
Fianna Fail Party, Charles Haughey, in the early 1980s. Haughey happened to be running&#13;
in the constituency I grew up in, Dublin North-Central, which included Donnycarney. His&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 9&#13;
mother and two sisters lived on the street next to the street I grew up on. Since then I&#13;
have never worked for a candidate in an election in Ireland or in the US.&#13;
&#13;
I came out when I was in Ireland but didn’t do—besides letting everyone know that I was&#13;
a lesbian, doing this work and doing this work. I was not involved in any kind of gay&#13;
rights movement. I feel like that really solidified when I came here. I mean I went on Gay&#13;
Pride parades, like the first one in Dublin in 1985 or 1986. But the AIDS [acquired&#13;
immune deficiency syndrome] activism was just starting before I left. So basically I came&#13;
to New York and it was where I really met what I consider to be absolutely ferocious&#13;
lesbians and gay men [laughter]. That like blew my mind. I thought okay, this is the right&#13;
place at the right time [laughs].&#13;
&#13;
Q1: How did you come to the United States? What was that transition like?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I won a green card in a lottery and was basically desperate to get out of Ireland.&#13;
It was really—I mean the political stuff that had been going on had been horrifying. The&#13;
misogyny and the Catholic Church and it was totally homophobic and there was a whole&#13;
set of cases where a young fifteen-year-old died giving birth in a grotto in Leitrim, like in&#13;
the church car park. A teacher had been fired from a school because she was involved&#13;
with a separated married man and she had a child.&#13;
&#13;
There was just a whole series of absolutely horrifying political things going on. And I felt&#13;
like I just needed to get out of here for a while, just to get out. I just wanted to get out. I&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 10&#13;
did not want to come here. I didn’t want to go to England. I had been to London a few&#13;
times and found that anti-Irish stuff because it was extremely political and the IRA [Irish&#13;
Republican Army] were quite active. The anti-Irish sentiment in London I would not&#13;
have been able to handle it at all. It was really awful. Like for example, every time we&#13;
went, only Irish people had to fill in a really long form, which was called the Prevention&#13;
of Terrorism Act. It’s the kind of thing that’s going to be happening here soon. But Irish&#13;
people on the plane or on the ferry were the only people who had to fill in this form and&#13;
hand it in at customs or the passport check going to England.&#13;
&#13;
So there was a lottery and the whole country came to a standstill. There was very high&#13;
unemployment. Almost fifty percent of the population was under the age of twenty-five.&#13;
The unemployment rates were skyrocketing. I actually had a job but this was a whole&#13;
move here, which has now been discussed again. What is the visa, they’re calling it?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Diversity.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Diversity. This happened in the ‘80s and it was really focused on Irish people.&#13;
So it was Irish politicians worked this whole Donneley visa thing. You sent your name,&#13;
your date of birth—your name, address and your date of birth to a P.O. box in&#13;
Washington, D.C.&#13;
&#13;
And the country came to a total standstill because there were so many people applying. I&#13;
think the odds were a couple of thousand—couple of hundred thousand to one that you&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 11&#13;
would get it. I didn’t really want to come but as soon as I got that piece of mail from the&#13;
embassy, I was like I am so out of here. So I was one of the lucky ones and came here.&#13;
Within three months, I was gone.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: To New York?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: What was New York like? Was it your first visit?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes. I had a sister here. My younger sister was a nanny in Larchmont. From&#13;
high school, she had gone immediately out of high school to Larchmont and I had two&#13;
friends that I kind of knew, that I had gotten in touch with. So I moved in with them—&#13;
one, and she was moving right around the time that I was planning on coming. She said,&#13;
“You want me to look for a place for the two of us?” I said, “Yes.”&#13;
&#13;
So I moved into Park Slope actually, Tenth Street and Seventh Avenue for a year and my&#13;
sister eventually moved as a live-in nanny in Brooklyn. So we were like a little posse and&#13;
there were lots of Irish people here. Marie [Honan] knew Maxine already. This was the&#13;
woman I moved in with, the Irish woman, who I ended up being with and have been ever&#13;
since. But Marie had already met Maxine at an Irish political event. But there was also&#13;
the lesbian stuff. I think Maxine gave Marie her first ever tickets to the dance on the pier&#13;
around Gay Pride. So that connection was made immediately. And this Thanksgiving, I&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 12&#13;
went to my first ever Thanksgiving meal here in November 1987 and this year, I’ll be&#13;
back for my thirtieth at Maxine’s house. So I’ve basically known Maxine since I came&#13;
here.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: You were having Thanksgiving here in this very house?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes, in this house.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Tell me about that night if you can remember.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I just remember Anne and Marie coming. We always used to have a big crowd&#13;
and I asked them to come because I met Marie at some political meetings and we hit it&#13;
off. And she said that Anne was coming and I said, “Well, bring Anne.” And that was it.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: It was amazing. I mean I had been here a month and most of the table besides&#13;
Karen and Amy, Maxine’s daughters, were lesbians and gay men from ACT UP [AIDS&#13;
Coalition to Unleash Power].&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: ACT UP.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Feisty and ferocious and—&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 13&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Loud [laughs].&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And loud and opinionated and out there. I didn’t open my mouth for the whole&#13;
meal. It was just like oh, my god. It was culture shock. I also got quite a shock because I&#13;
thought, I’ve been out. I’ve been out in my life and I thought oh, my god, I so have not&#13;
been out. I don’t even know what that is anymore. So it was such a big deal. It was kind&#13;
of amazing.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: It was a lot of people too.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Huge.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Probably fifteen people for dinner and it was all people from ACT UP other than&#13;
my daughters. Yes, people were just going on and on and on and having opinions about&#13;
everything. When Anne told me afterwards, many years afterwards, what a shock it was.&#13;
I was like, right, it must have been horrifying [laughter]. She didn’t know anybody&#13;
except for Marie and everybody was blah, blah, blah which was the way Thanksgiving&#13;
always is here, which is that people just talk forever, cover every topic under the sun&#13;
from anything political to anything anything. Sex, politics, art—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Art, books.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 14&#13;
Wolfe: Books, whatever.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Family, everything.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Everything.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: How did you become connected with ACT UP originally?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: The way I became connected with ACT UP was in 1984, which was when I went&#13;
to the archives, in the early ‘80s, almost every group that I belonged to had fallen apart.&#13;
When [Ronald W.] Reagan was elected—people don’t really get it. So the way that I got&#13;
connected to ACT UP was that nothing was going on and I kept looking for something to&#13;
do politically. So I did individual things like there were demonstrations against Cruising,&#13;
the movie, and there was some bars in Times Square that had been raided by the cops.&#13;
There were just sort of these disparate demonstrations.&#13;
&#13;
Meanwhile AIDS had started but at that time, I was not really focused on that. The men&#13;
that I knew, I had been active in a couple of different mixed groups, men and women, gay&#13;
men and lesbians, and the men were not talking about AIDS at all at that time. In fact,&#13;
fortunately for them, most of those men never were infected.&#13;
&#13;
So I kept looking for things to do. Then this group started at the City University that I&#13;
was part of at the beginning which was called CUNY Lesbian and Gay People. I had also&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 15&#13;
done some things around the sodomy rulings and this incredible action, I think it was the&#13;
Statue of Liberty Centennial where we sort of busted downtown without a permit, to&#13;
protest against the sodomy ruling by the Supreme Court. That was when they upheld it.&#13;
&#13;
Then I went to some meetings of the Gay and Lesbian—what’s now called GLAAD [Gay&#13;
and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation] which then was called Gay Anti-Defamation&#13;
Group. But it was very top-down and I didn’t love it [laughs]. I had also gone to&#13;
Democratic Party things. I was just looking for what I could do that I would feel good&#13;
about.&#13;
&#13;
Then I was in this CUNY group and we went to Gay Pride that year as CUNY Lesbian&#13;
and Gay People and we were behind ACT UP on the march. I saw ACT UP and it looked&#13;
amazing and a friend of mine had also said, “There’s this new group that started that’s&#13;
meeting at the center. Do you want to go?” And I said, “Yes.” We said we’d go that&#13;
Monday. And this was Sunday.&#13;
&#13;
They were in front of me and they had this amazing tableau that year. It was the first year&#13;
of ACT UP and they had this concentration camp because it was at that time what’s his&#13;
name, Bennett⎯was it Bennett? No, it was—the other right-winger, who had sort of&#13;
suggested that gay men should be tattooed? Okay? It was sort of this whole concentration&#13;
camp mentality. There was a huge amount of homophobia around the AIDS stuff. And&#13;
they had built this concentration camp. They were wearing gas masks and they were&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 16&#13;
handing out these leaflets. And I went over to a woman and I said to her, “Are there&#13;
women in this group?” And she said, “Oh, yes, definitely.” I said, “Okay.”&#13;
&#13;
So Monday, I went to this meeting and I walked into this room and there were like four&#13;
hundred gay men and like four visible women [laughter]. I said, “Well, whatever.” I had&#13;
done some—and I didn’t know—one of the things that people don’t know about ACT UP&#13;
is that originally the group was not made up of people who had been active in New York&#13;
City lesbian and gay politics, at least no one that I knew—radical politics. Nobody that I&#13;
knew was in that room.&#13;
&#13;
So I just sat there for a month and I didn’t say anything. I just listened to what was going&#13;
on. I really thought it was a great thing because anybody could do anything. People had a&#13;
lot of energy, a lot of anger. If you had a good idea, you could do it and you could get up&#13;
and speak your mind.&#13;
&#13;
In fact, one of the first things that I did was to speak against something that Larry Kramer&#13;
said and I had no idea who Larry Kramer was at the time because I had not been involved&#13;
in kind of the mainstream gay part of the movement. And he stood up and we were doing&#13;
this action. He said something and I stood up and disagreed with him and everybody&#13;
gasped. I thought, “Oh, my God, what did I say?” I must have said something terrible and&#13;
no, the only thing was that I disagreed with him.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 17&#13;
And he never cared. He liked that people disagreed with him. Even if he would yell back&#13;
at you, it was only because he was arguing. I just felt really comfortable in the place. I&#13;
just felt this was a place that I could do something about something I cared about which&#13;
was AIDS and I stayed. I was very active in ACT UP for ten years, organized a lot of&#13;
actions and stuff. That’s how I got involved in ACT UP.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Now you guys are part of the founding core group of the Lesbian Avengers here in&#13;
New York. Tell me what led to that. What were some of the conversations that made you&#13;
think this group would be necessary?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Well, you also ought to ask Anne about ILGO because she was one of the people&#13;
who started the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization—&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Oh, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: That did all the protests at the St. Patrick’s Day parade. That was sort of&#13;
dovetailed with ACT UP.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And the Avengers.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And the Avengers, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Thank you. Let’s get those stories first.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 18&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Well, the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization, we started that in 1990 because&#13;
there were so many Irish immigrants here and it turned out a lot of people had fled&#13;
because they were gay or lesbian. And we started this group, met at the center. The vast&#13;
majority of the people in the group were undocumented and totally and utterly closeted.&#13;
Because I was such an experienced political activist at that point given that there were&#13;
very few people in the group that were, so there was a bunch of us who wanted to do&#13;
stuff.&#13;
&#13;
Basically the first political discussion we had was over naming the group, which&#13;
happened at our very first meeting. And there were a lot of people who wanted to give it&#13;
a Gaelic name like cairde which is friends in Gaelic. We’re like, uh-uh, nobody’s going&#13;
to know what that is. It’s so closeted, you know? So that was the first battle, whether we&#13;
were going to use a Gaelic name or say who we were.&#13;
&#13;
Then when it came to saying who we were, we wanted lesbian to come before gay and&#13;
that was a whole other battle. We wanted to be the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization&#13;
and not the Irish Gay and Lesbian Organization. So we had a little battle and at but one&#13;
meeting, after the very first meeting, we had a name. So I thought it was really important&#13;
one, that we were not going to be closeted and two, that lesbians were going to be&#13;
welcome in this group and were definitely going to be part of the leadership.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 19&#13;
So I think the kind of tie-in between that and the Avengers was the lesbian thing being&#13;
part of the leadership, saying we are here, we’re not going anywhere. We’re feisty. We’re&#13;
interested in power. We’re not backing away. So the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization&#13;
was very much like that. We had policies, like if anyone is invited anywhere, it has be a&#13;
gay man and a lesbian. Gay men do not go anywhere on their own representing us.&#13;
There’s always going to be a lesbian. And it turned out that most of the work in the group&#13;
was done by lesbians anyway.&#13;
&#13;
So at one point within our first year, somebody brought up at a meeting, “Wouldn’t it be&#13;
kind of funny if we marched in the St. Patrick’s Day parade?” Most of us were like, “Are&#13;
you kidding me?” But anyway, we sent in an application and it just completely blew up.&#13;
It totally blew up. Including ACT UP and AIDS, it was so totally and utterly homophobic&#13;
in the ‘90s. It was a massive wave and I think a lot had to do with the AIDS crisis.&#13;
&#13;
So we sent in an application. It was rejected. We were on a waiting list but Joe [Joseph]&#13;
Nicholson [Jr.] who was a gay reporter at The New York Post; he didn’t work as a gay&#13;
reporter. He was a gay man who was a reporter at The New York Post. And feisty and&#13;
willing to do the work. He tracked us down and the next day, it was on the front page of&#13;
The New York Post, “Irish Gay Furor”, or “St. Patrick’s Day Furor”. And the whole thing&#13;
blew up.&#13;
&#13;
So basically the group, we had to meet and decide are we going ahead with this or not?&#13;
And the people in the group who were quite political and active were saying we’re not&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 20&#13;
backing down. This is like they want us to be closeted. They want us to go away. We&#13;
cannot back down now, despite the fact that eighty percent of our membership were&#13;
completely closeted and terrified and also undocumented.&#13;
&#13;
So I stayed in that group for ten years and we marched in the first and only parade ever in&#13;
1991 with Mayor [David N.] Dinkins as an invited group, not as the Irish Lesbian and&#13;
Gay Organization, and were pelted with stuff, had people throwing beer cans and&#13;
screaming at us for the whole thing. Dinkins actually said it reminded him of Selma. He&#13;
never expected to experience anything like that in his life in New York City. He was&#13;
appalled by it.&#13;
&#13;
Then it turned, the group got quite radical. A lot of people totally came out of the closet,&#13;
told their family in Ireland so they could work on this. The Avengers started. The&#13;
Avengers got involved, people got involved in different stuff. And basically I stayed with&#13;
this for ten years and then it went on for twenty-five years. The first group got to&#13;
march—the first Irish gay group got to march this past March. So that’s twenty-five,&#13;
twenty-six years later. That’s how long it took them.&#13;
&#13;
So I think the Avenger thing tied in for me with the fact that a lot of lesbians were really&#13;
shocked that a lesbian was like so upfront in a group that was for gay men and lesbians&#13;
and it was a big deal. It was a big deal to have like an opinionated, tough, strong, very&#13;
political lesbian being a spokesperson for this group. It was quite unusual at the time for a&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 21&#13;
mixed group. So I think there must have been something simmering underneath, Maxine,&#13;
with the Lesbian Avengers and the timing.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Give me a little bit—both of you can help me with this, a little bit of context on that.&#13;
What were the expectations for women in queer rights organizations? What were the&#13;
dynamics that you were coming into in the ‘90s and why was it so unusual to see lesbians&#13;
in leadership?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Well, for a long time, if you read histories of the lesbian and gay movement, first&#13;
of all, they all focus on electoral politics and very few lesbians were involved in electoral&#13;
politics. Lesbians were involved in radical politics. So in organizing against the war, like&#13;
lesbians surrounded the Pentagon while other people were marching. So it was that kind&#13;
of thing or they formed like the peace camps or Greenham [Common Women’s Peace&#13;
Camp], where lesbians climbed over the fence and tried to destroy missiles.&#13;
&#13;
This is what lesbians were doing. They were part of the feminist movement and the&#13;
women’s movement, but the radical end of that, not the National Organization for&#13;
Women although there were lesbians there as well. I always—on the left, I had been&#13;
involved with mixed groups, it was never an issue but they were never like big mass&#13;
organizations. They were small ones, like a group called CRASH, which was the&#13;
Committee Against Racism, Anti-Semitism, Sexism, and Heterosexism and it was like a&#13;
leftie male and female group. But it was never anything that was visible or that was in the&#13;
newspaper or anything else.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 22&#13;
&#13;
Most of the other groups because of finances and also the difference in politics, were run&#13;
by gay men. They never gave any attention—and also the mainstream media, to them,&#13;
gay means men. They can’t pronounce lesbian. Getting the word out of their mouth&#13;
doesn’t work. If they described any organization, they would say it was gay. Even if&#13;
people eventually wrote about ACT UP, they would say all gay men or mostly gay men.&#13;
Well, the leadership of ACT UP was largely lesbians. We were the people who&#13;
organized, taught people how to do civil disobedience, organized the marshalling, did the&#13;
logistics of the actions and got arrested. My affinity group had loads of women in it and&#13;
we were organizing all the time. But originally that was not the way.&#13;
&#13;
So when you read the history, it always sounds like it was gay men. Then when people&#13;
describe what did lesbians do in the ‘70s, well, they were cultural. They did cultural&#13;
work. Yes, we had to start our own publishers, our own record companies, our own&#13;
everything because gay men wouldn’t publish our books. The straight press wouldn’t&#13;
publish our books and they wouldn’t publish our music.&#13;
&#13;
So yes, we did that but we also did stuff about the murder of children in Atlanta because&#13;
we also didn’t only do lesbian and gay politics. We did other politics. We did civil rights.&#13;
People marched at Selma who were lesbian. People did a lot of stuff around the murder&#13;
of the black children in Atlanta in the ‘80s and other kinds of issues like that. So in the&#13;
same way that in the Vietnam War movement, eventually women left to form the&#13;
feminist movement, lesbians left both of those to form a lesbian movement because none&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 23&#13;
of them were giving any play, any perspective on lesbians. So that was one of the biggest&#13;
issues.&#13;
&#13;
So everybody always talks about ACT UP as being one of—the AIDS crisis actually as&#13;
being one of the only times that lesbians and gay men worked together or one of the first&#13;
times that they visibly worked together in some kind of a radical movement. In ways&#13;
that’s true because beforehand, it was lesbians who were radical, not gay men, with&#13;
radical politics. So I think that was the big difference.&#13;
&#13;
But we also, when we started the Avengers, we felt, even though we had worked with&#13;
gay men and I kept working in ACT UP and Anne kept being in ILGO, we also felt really&#13;
strongly that we wanted to work with other lesbians to focus on lesbian issues because&#13;
there were lesbian issues that nobody was dealing with. Even in AIDS, people would&#13;
make fun of the fact that there could be lesbians who had AIDS and we knew lesbians&#13;
who had AIDS and they didn’t get it from a needle. But nobody would ever talk about&#13;
lesbian sex, so people couldn’t imagine. Like how could lesbians spread AIDS? Well,&#13;
they could spread AIDS because they have blood and other bodily fluids that are involved&#13;
in sex, if they’re not just doing sex the way people think that lesbians do it but they’re&#13;
actually having sex the way that lesbians have it.&#13;
&#13;
So even in the AIDS crisis, that became an issue. And also as lesbians in the AIDS crisis,&#13;
we did a lot of stuff about women in AIDS and that’s the other thing that people never&#13;
talk about when they talk about ACT UP, they always talk about drugs into bodies and it&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 24&#13;
was all about that—no. We also did work on changing the Centers for Disease Control&#13;
[and Prevention] definition to include women and poor people and the people who&#13;
spearheaded that were lesbians.&#13;
&#13;
We had these groups that worked together and my affinity group which had sixteen men&#13;
in it and eight women—I think it was sixteen and eight—those men worked on getting&#13;
the definition changed. They spent—and several of them are dead. They didn’t work on&#13;
drugs into bodies for themselves. They worked on making sure that other people could&#13;
get access to medication who were not even thought of as having HIV.&#13;
&#13;
So I think that those ideas and the idea of trying to work also in an all-lesbian group—&#13;
and also at that time, I should say that at that time, this group started—what was the name&#13;
of it? The one with the—the women’s group that you went to the meetings of?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: WAC, Women’s Action Coalition.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And they started doing stuff about abortion again. People called me and said,&#13;
“We’re going to start this group.” A group of lesbians called me to say, “We’re starting&#13;
this group.” And I said, “Is it a lesbian group?” They said, “No, it’s a women’s group.” I&#13;
said, “Been there, done that.” Fifteen years of working on abortion and then tried to get&#13;
people to deal with lesbian issues and they threw me out [laughs]. So I said, “I have done&#13;
that already. I’m not doing that again.”&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 25&#13;
So then I wanted to do some kind of an action group and I was friends with Sarah&#13;
Schulman at the time and I said to her, “We need to do something about getting lesbians&#13;
to do some actions.” There were those two women that I think were attacked on the&#13;
Appalachian Trail and nobody did anything.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Nobody did anything. And I said, “We’ve got to do something that’s like that.”&#13;
And she knew that Ana [M.] Simo who is a lesbian who was out for many, many years&#13;
and ran this theater company called Medusa’s Revenge, this theater group, the first&#13;
lesbian theater in New York, that she was interested in doing something as well. So Ana&#13;
and I met for lunch that May and we talked about different ways, different things that we&#13;
could do and we decided that we would each invite some people to a meeting. And so we&#13;
each asked our friends to come and the end result of that was Anne, Marie—her partner&#13;
Marie—Sarah Schulman, myself, Anne-[Christine] D’Adesky and who else?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: That’s it.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: That was it?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, six, only six of us.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 26&#13;
Wolfe: Six of us, yes. So we met at Ana’s house and we decided that we wanted to do&#13;
something and somehow we came up with the name, Lesbian Avengers. We said, “What&#13;
about the Avengers?” And somebody said, “Lesbian Avengers.” We said, “Great.” And&#13;
Ana’s son is the one who came with the logo, which was the anarchist bomb. He was the&#13;
one that suggested it. And we decided as a group that we wanted to do something.&#13;
&#13;
At that time, a big issue in New York was the rainbow curriculum. Well, we decided a&#13;
couple of things. We decided that we didn’t want to integrate gay bars, that we wanted to&#13;
do serious politics but in a really good way, a fun way and not like dour, but in some way&#13;
that would involve people. But it had to be not minor issues. Like sometimes people do&#13;
things, like oh, it’s an all male bar; we should go there and make them take women. We&#13;
didn’t care. That was not important to us.&#13;
&#13;
The rainbow curriculum was important. They were going to create this curriculum for the&#13;
public schools and it had three lines in it about gay people, three lines. And already these&#13;
people, superintendents and stuff were lining up against it. But really what they were&#13;
against was not just that it had three lines about gay people, it also had stuff about people&#13;
of color and it had the truth about Native Americans, minor things that had not been&#13;
included in the curriculum beforehand.&#13;
&#13;
So we decided we would do something about that. We decided that we would do it on the&#13;
first day of school but other than that, I think that the thing that made it work—and we&#13;
made up a club card, a little card that basically said—I have one inside. It said something&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 27&#13;
like lesbians, gay men, dykes; cold-blooded liars are in the White House, what are you&#13;
doing about it? Help us take revenge. Then it had a phone number. The phone number&#13;
was the one that was upstairs that was my daughter’s extension, their phone, because I&#13;
was getting phone calls. They were getting phone calls when they were teenagers. So I&#13;
got them a phone. The message said, “You have reached the Lesbian Avengers. We are&#13;
doing an action on the first day of school. We’re having a meeting on July sixth. Come to&#13;
the meeting and leave a message.”&#13;
&#13;
And the first message was from Lydia who left this message saying, “You are either my&#13;
dream or my nightmare. I hope you are not the sergeant behind the local desk.” And that&#13;
tape is at the archives. Anyway, so we decided that we’d hand out those at Gay Pride—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Thousands of them, six of us.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes. But we would not give them to any one that was already in a group, that we&#13;
would only give it to people on the sidelines because they were not committed to&#13;
anybody else. And we decided that—we also decided that we would not create the whole&#13;
action, just the concept so that people could own it.&#13;
&#13;
All of us were incredibly democratic and we did not want a top-down organization. We&#13;
wanted one from the bottom-up. But in the lesbian community at that time, when we had&#13;
tried to do that, it never went anywhere. If we called a meeting, everybody had their own&#13;
interests and nothing would happen.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 28&#13;
&#13;
So we decided we had to make it fait accompli. The group existed and by giving these&#13;
out, the women who came were taking a risk because who were we? We didn’t have our&#13;
names on it. It didn’t say who we were. It just was a phone number and telling people to&#13;
come to a meeting. So the women who came were definitely risk-takers, which is what&#13;
we wanted. What else did we do that was—I think that was it.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: That was it. It was really the palm card, like thousands of palm cards at Gay&#13;
Pride.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: We gave them out the entire time.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: So the first meeting was on July 6 and sixty lesbians showed up. And we each&#13;
took a head—ran a committee. Like I did the logistics and Ana did—well, Sarah did&#13;
media. And who did research? I think you did—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I did research on the rainbow stuff—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Did you do research?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 29&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Research and then somebody did props or something like that. Then other people&#13;
in the room joined those committees. So by doing that, it wasn’t us running it—and we&#13;
didn’t even pick the place. The research committee, totally luck involved, ended up&#13;
picking this district in Middle Village, Queens where nobody goes to do actions because&#13;
most of the people who do organizing, they don’t go to places where they’re not wanted.&#13;
They go to the [Greenwich] Village. Who wants to give out things in the Village? It’s&#13;
like speaking to the converted.&#13;
&#13;
So this was Middle Village and the woman who was the superintendent was a&#13;
homophobe par excellence. She had basically said that would be no rainbow curriculum,&#13;
over her dead body [laughs]. She was like so amazing. Mary Cummins was her name.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, she was pretty bad.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: She was terrible. She was the worst and she was getting all this publicity. So she&#13;
basically gave us publicity. So we arranged this first action out in Middle Village,&#13;
Queens. We arranged to do a march through the village, through the main street to the&#13;
public school and to do something on the first day of school. And we ended up having a&#13;
band, a women’s band was in the front singing, We Are Family. And then we had a big&#13;
banner that said “Teach About Lesbian Lives.”&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And t-shirts.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 30&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And t-shirts that said, “I Was a Lesbian Child.” And then we had balloons. The&#13;
balloons said, “Ask about Lesbian Lives.” I think that one of the interesting things was&#13;
we decided, the six of us that we would do this if nobody else wanted to. The six of us&#13;
would do it. So when we had at the first meeting, as I said, were the risk-takers and they&#13;
were all totally behind it. But at the second meeting, other people had come who had&#13;
heard about it and they were the naysayers. So they would say things like—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: “Stay away from children.”&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Right.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: “We cannot be near children.”&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Right, and they would say, “This is the first day of school and you’re going to&#13;
make it terrible.” I said to them, “Do you have any kids?” I said, “I have two kids. This is&#13;
going to be the best first day of school they have ever had. There’s going to be a&#13;
marching band and balloons and everything.” [Laughter].&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I said “And the second day is going to be totally disappointing and depressing.”&#13;
Then they would say something like, “Well, but the balloons, it’s like manipulating kids.”&#13;
I said, “If it said, Save the Whales, would it be okay?” It’s like homophobia and fear&#13;
which people have—because we were going into this hostile environment basically.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 31&#13;
Well, we went to Middle Village, Queens and we marched down that street and there&#13;
were loads of people supporting us. They came out—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: The children took the balloons. Some of them didn’t have parents saying,&#13;
“Don’t give my child a balloon.” They walked to school holding their balloons and asked&#13;
about lesbian lives.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: One woman made her kid—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, one out of all of them.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: One out of all of them and nobody got arrested. The cops were there finally when&#13;
we got to the school and of course, they tried to tell us that we couldn’t march on the&#13;
sidewalk and we told them what the law was. They had to let us do it. And then it was all&#13;
over the newspapers and that sort of launched the Lesbian Avengers.&#13;
&#13;
So those were the kinds of actions that we tried to do the whole time. We did a lot of&#13;
really wonderful—we actually worked on Boycott Colorado stuff and prevented the&#13;
mayor of Denver from continuing his economic development tour of New York. He left&#13;
because every radio station he went to asked him questions about the anti-gay proposition&#13;
because we did demonstrations in front of everyone while he was there. We called in on&#13;
the phone. We followed him around, including to the Plaza Hotel. We were just fearless.&#13;
We really didn’t care.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 32&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I wouldn’t say we were fearless. I always have a tremendous amount of fear&#13;
and anxiety going into these things but fearless in a different way. Doing all those&#13;
actions, it can be—I guess part of it is you never really know what’s going to happen and&#13;
if some maniac is going to be there. There’s always an element of fear and anxiety—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Which is good.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, I think it’s normal. But I also think people don’t get that about activism or&#13;
activists. We’re just out there shouting our heads off, waving banners and never about the&#13;
thought that goes behind it and what it actually means for a person to go out there with&#13;
our bodies and do this thing.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: We always plan things very, very well. We always had somebody who was there,&#13;
a legal person. I mean I agree, when I say fearless, I mean we went and did it.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I know.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: But you always have to be anxious enough to be careful and to see what’s going&#13;
on. So we did things like that here and also one of the things that grew out of the Lesbian&#13;
Avengers was a civil rights organizing project. In 1994, there were all these bills around&#13;
the United States that were anti-gay bills. There was a proposition in Oregon that would&#13;
make it legal to discriminate against gay people and these two people were killed. A&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 33&#13;
bomb went off in their basement apartment, a disabled gay man and a lesbian of color&#13;
and both of them were killed. And people didn’t get that. This was the same kind of stuff&#13;
you were seeing during the civil rights movement.&#13;
&#13;
So we got in touch with people across the United States—lesbians across the United&#13;
States to ask them if they needed help. In all of these different states, we traveled.&#13;
Usually two of us would go to introduce ourselves because we knew that we had&#13;
resources and in a lot of the smaller places, they didn’t.&#13;
&#13;
So we did some work first with some people in Maine about an anti-gay resolution or bill&#13;
there and then we ended up doing a big action in New York around the anti-violence&#13;
march that pointed out the information about all the anti-gay bills that were in the United&#13;
States and the killing of these two people.&#13;
&#13;
That was when we started eating fire which was our trademark and people always think&#13;
that that was a joke but we did that because on this anti-violence march, one of the&#13;
Lesbian Avengers gave—the anti-violence project asked people to do something at&#13;
different places. So we set up a shrine and we actually slept out there for four days from&#13;
the night of Halloween to the election which was the following Tuesday. And people&#13;
could bring candles and people brought candles for people with AIDS and not just for the&#13;
people who were bombed in Oregon. So it became a shrine to all the violence that people&#13;
in our communities had experienced.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 34&#13;
And one of the things, the first night there was a march and you stopped at each of these&#13;
places. And we stopped. This woman, Lysander gave a talk and basically one of the&#13;
things that she said was that people, that you’re are afraid and there’s a reason to be&#13;
afraid but what you should do is take the fear and put it in you and then make it your own&#13;
and have it come out as anger and determination to do something.&#13;
&#13;
So we had one woman who taught us how to eat fire and a group of women stood in a&#13;
circle and swallowed the fire as other people chanted, “We take the fire within us and we&#13;
take it and make it our own.” And that was the point of it. It wasn’t like a joke. It was to&#13;
basically say you can be afraid but you need to do something and not let people’s fear get&#13;
you to run away. Instead you should come out and do something.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: On that thought, I kind of wanted to go back. It struck me that you said a lot of&#13;
people don’t understand how activists feel. You mentioned fear but we didn’t really get&#13;
to go into a specific experience and I was wondering if you could say a little more about&#13;
that and draw out that experience and what is important for people to understand about&#13;
how you feel going into a situation like this.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Well, I guess every action is kind of different. I think the thing with direct&#13;
action in particular is that everything is involved. You are going out with your body and I&#13;
think for groups like the Avengers and for ILGO and experience direct activism makes it&#13;
easier because you know everyone has your back. While you can never predict what’s&#13;
going to happen, the great thing is—I mean I always have anxiety. I’m always scared.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 35&#13;
I’m always worried that the thing I’m supposed to do with the banner is not going to&#13;
happen and very recently I did have a whole banner thing that didn’t happen and it’s&#13;
disappointing but we got to keep our banner.&#13;
&#13;
But I think it’s just being aware of everyone around you, being aware that people have&#13;
your backs. While I am always scared, I’m also always like totally, full on for it. Okay,&#13;
I’m going out here and all these people are with me. We also have support and if&#13;
something goes wrong, I kind of know we’re all going to figure it out together. It’s not&#13;
going to be I’m going to be left here on my own because I fell or I got thwacked or&#13;
something went wrong, I went in the wrong door, where we’re supposed to be going&#13;
somewhere else.&#13;
&#13;
It’s a commitment. I mean it’s a commitment everyone makes. We make it to each other.&#13;
We make it to this action we’ve all been working on for quite awhile. I do know that&#13;
people think, oh, also now we’re paid. We don’t have jobs. We’re like on George Soros’&#13;
payroll. In fact, no, I’ve had a full-time job all this time for the last forty years. I have&#13;
always had a full-time job. I take my vacation time. I take my personal days to do actions.&#13;
And most activists are like that.&#13;
&#13;
I don’t think it’s people who don’t agree with your position. Sometimes it’s people who&#13;
feel guilty because they feel like, “Oh, I should really be doing something but I go on one&#13;
march a year and I know it’s not enough.” So I think sometimes there’s a kind of attitude&#13;
about out there, shouting your heads off, waving your placards, blah, blah, blah. But you&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 36&#13;
know, you’ve been doing it for your entire life. I’ve been doing it for my entire life and&#13;
there’s a reason why we’re doing it and it’s valid and it takes guts and it takes a huge&#13;
amount of commitment.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I would also say that there’s real fear. I have been pushed around by the police. I&#13;
have been handcuffed too tight and my wrists have turned blue. I’ve been on a bus in&#13;
South Carolina with a cop who had a knife in his boot. The very first ACT UP action we&#13;
did at Cosmo [Cosmopolitan Magazine], the women’s committee, there was a cop that&#13;
came after me with a club.&#13;
&#13;
It’s also, there are actual reasons to be afraid about the possibility of physical harm and&#13;
it’s often coming from police. But it can also come from counter-protestors as we saw in&#13;
Charlottesville and so when you go out and you make a commitment to do this, you have&#13;
no idea who’s going to be out there. One of the things that we do when we teach civil&#13;
disobedience and teach marshalling is to teach people how to handle hecklers and people&#13;
who come after you, so that you don’t engage them and you don’t escalate it but&#13;
sometimes you don’t do anything and they do it.&#13;
&#13;
And if you’re going to resist arrest, if you’re going to do civil disobedience and resist&#13;
arrest and police pick you up, they throw you into the van and they don’t care if you hurt&#13;
your back. And there are people who have hurt their backs. There was a woman at the&#13;
Matthew—what was his name?&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 37&#13;
Maguire: Shepard.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Shepard, a very spontaneous action that happened in New York where thousands&#13;
of people showed up and nobody originally organized it. It’s just like thousands of people&#13;
showed up. And it’s sort of like the first Occupy [movement] thing. So some of us who&#13;
had experience as marshalls, we just immediately—it kicked into gear even though we&#13;
hadn’t organized it. One woman got hit by a horse and to this day, she limps. There’s a&#13;
guy that I know who got a concussion. So there are things that can happen that are&#13;
actually physically terrible. Most of the fear is about what can happen that you have no&#13;
idea what’s going to be out there. So you have to sort of go—and that’s why what Anne&#13;
was saying is true. One of the best ways to do it is be with a group of people who you&#13;
know and you know you can count on.&#13;
&#13;
So in ACT UP, we had an affinity group structure where small groups worked together.&#13;
So you knew those people really well and whatever you organized to do together, you&#13;
knew that they would be there. It’s also how you organized support structures, so&#13;
somebody who’s going to follow, find out what jail you’re taken to and be there while&#13;
you’re there and when you come out. One action that I was in ACT UP, we were strip&#13;
searched, which was illegal. We knew that was illegal. When we came out, there were&#13;
lawyers there. We said we’ve got to do something about this, this was illegal, and we&#13;
ended up suing the city.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 38&#13;
So there’s actually the possibility of physical violence as well as just the pumped-up-ness&#13;
of the fact that you’re going into this situation that you have no idea and also, that when&#13;
you’re in those situations, you have to be self-confident because the police lie. No offense&#13;
to the police, actually, in that sense. We have a job to do. They have a job to do.&#13;
&#13;
Now that’s not excusing physical violence but I’m saying even in general when they’re&#13;
not physically violent, when we do the Dyke March, the cop will say—I’ll say to one of&#13;
the police, like, “We need to stop because there’s a gap in the march.” “Oh, no, there’s no&#13;
gap in the march.” I never believe them. Okay, it’s just something you learn. It’s not to&#13;
do that. So that’s what the physical—just the courage that you need to do things and the&#13;
confidence.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: It’s significant then that you target specifically bringing in people that have never&#13;
been involved or not currently involved in anything before. So talk to me about working&#13;
with people you personally didn’t know. Talk to me about training people who didn’t&#13;
have the skills already. Do people stick with it after this initial onboarding? Was there a&#13;
lot of turnover? Just talk to me about that whole process and experience.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: You have more to say. You were more involved at the beginning of the&#13;
Avengers and I was back with the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: People stayed. ACT UP had people come and go but a huge number of people&#13;
stayed and a huge number of people kept doing activism when they left ACT UP, other&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 39&#13;
kinds of activism. That is one of the points but one of the things is we did trainings. One&#13;
of the things again that people don’t know is we did teach-ins first of all. When we did&#13;
work with—&#13;
&#13;
Q1: As ACT UP or as the Lesbian Avengers?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Both. So if we were doing something about an issue that we wanted to target, we&#13;
learned everything we could about it. So in ACT UP, one of the things we did was, we&#13;
did teach-ins about the [United States] Food &amp; Drug Administration, when we did a big&#13;
action there, about the National Institutes of Health, about the Center for Disease&#13;
Control’s definition of AIDS. We wrote booklets. We wrote books actually. The ACT UP&#13;
Women’s Caucus wrote a book about women in AIDS but before we wrote the book, we&#13;
did a teach-in and we made a photocopy booklet which ended up being—we made fifteen&#13;
hundred copies and not only did we give them out at all of our teach-ins at ACT UP but&#13;
we sent them all over the world.&#13;
&#13;
And eventually when we needed support from people in other parts of the world to get&#13;
that definition changed, they came to do it because they understood how it affected them.&#13;
So the teach-ins were one way that people learned but we also did trainings. We did civil&#13;
disobedience training. So whenever we had an action, we asked if there were any people&#13;
who hadn’t been trained and if they hadn’t been, we did civil disobedience trainings. We&#13;
did marshal trainings. We did facilitator trainings, so that if you were facilitating a&#13;
meeting, you were trained. We did those in the Avengers; we did those in ACT UP.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 40&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And then the booklets.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: The booklets, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: The booklets, the Lesbian Avengers have a handbook and it is just the best&#13;
thing ever. It’s the A to Z of how to have a direct action group, what you need, if you’re&#13;
doing an action, a check-off list of all the things you need to have covered, running a&#13;
meeting, facilitating, organizing outside—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Examples of leaflets.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Leaflets, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Press releases.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Press releases, everything. And part of it came from an ACT UP handbook and&#13;
we did the same thing in the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization. It’s like okay; this is&#13;
your first year doing this. Here’s a history, here are the players, here’s what we do. This&#13;
is when our trainings are. So those things get moved around from group to group. And&#13;
now the Lesbian Avenger handbook is being used in Rise and Resist which formed after&#13;
the election of Donald [J.] Trump and people open it up and start reading and go, “Oh,&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 41&#13;
my God. This is the best thing I have ever seen.” So it’s like okay [crosstalk]. Here you&#13;
go. It’s fantastic.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And one of the big things that we did in the Lesbian Avengers was the civil rights&#13;
organizing project and we ended up in Idaho because there was a group—we wanted to&#13;
make sure that we were invited somewhere. We didn’t just come somewhere. And there&#13;
was a group of Lesbian Avengers that formed after—we did the first dyke march in&#13;
Washington, the night before the 1993 march on Washington and twenty thousand&#13;
lesbians showed up without a permit and we marched to the White House. And from that,&#13;
all these chapters started and they started all over the country.&#13;
&#13;
So this group in Idaho invited us to come and help them because there was an anti-gay&#13;
amendment in Idaho. So six lesbian—we raised money from our friends and six Lesbian&#13;
Avengers went and lived there for ten months. And then ten of us came on weekends,&#13;
various weekends and we organized. And we organized direct action in Moscow, Idaho;&#13;
Boise, Idaho; Sandpoint, Idaho, all over Idaho to get—not just to be against the anti-gay&#13;
amendment but to organize people there to come out. And we got support. We did&#13;
actions. We also wrote stuff up for people there.&#13;
&#13;
So we ended up finding one lesbian who lived in a small town that was sort of a center&#13;
for the AFL-CIO [American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial&#13;
Organizations] because they had logging unions. And she ended up getting—we ended&#13;
up going with her to the local AFL-CIO chapter. They wrote a letter that we put in a&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 42&#13;
brochure. Then we went door to door with her and gave it out and we had the support of&#13;
the AFL-CIO. We went to the Nez Perce reservations and worked with Native&#13;
Americans. We went to Sandpoint and worked with the local librarian because part of&#13;
this law would have eliminated gay books from the library. This was a straight man and&#13;
he had no problem working with the Lesbian Avengers. We did a march in Sandpoint,&#13;
Idaho.&#13;
&#13;
So eventually the proposition was defeated and one of the things that was in the local&#13;
paper was that the most surprising thing was that the rural areas that we worked in, voted&#13;
against the amendment and that that was something totally surprising that nobody&#13;
expected. The mainstream lesbian and gay groups that were campaigning were doing all&#13;
top-down campaigning with videos and television advertising and whatever but they&#13;
weren’t going to these places. We went to these places and also in one of the small towns,&#13;
a group of lesbians and gay men who had never been out, came out. They did a panel at&#13;
the local community center and then eventually when we left had formed a group to&#13;
continue the work.&#13;
&#13;
So when I say that we wanted to do serious stuff, that’s what I mean. What we did there&#13;
was fun. We had things like we went to the county fair and did all kinds of actions that&#13;
people could relate to but they were about a serious issue and we followed through on it.&#13;
&#13;
So those kinds of things, for instance being in Idaho, that took courage because a lot of&#13;
the—Sandpoint had a big right-wing community. A lot of places have that and we just&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 43&#13;
said, “If we’re not willing to go there, then what’s the point?” Every movement teaches&#13;
another. One of the things that the civil rights movement made clear is that you need to&#13;
go to the belly of the beast. If you’re not going to go there, what’s the point?&#13;
&#13;
So that is something that ACT UP did, that the Avengers did, that ILGO did which is you&#13;
don’t just stay in your neighborhood. You don’t just go where there are people who agree&#13;
with you. You have to go to places where people don’t agree with you. And the one other&#13;
thing that I guess where we differ from as just sort of a—I don’t even know the word for&#13;
it but kind of this touchy-feely thing, is that it’s not about having to just have dialog with&#13;
people. It’s showing people that you are someone to be reckoned with.&#13;
&#13;
And that was always especially important for the gay movement because the image of the&#13;
gay movement and especially of gay men but also just of gay people in general was that&#13;
we kind of were like these sort of flimsy faggots and dykes who really weren’t going to&#13;
do anything because we didn’t have any courage. So Stonewall [riots] started the image&#13;
of no, don’t screw with us. But it’s a very important thing to say to people, “You cannot&#13;
tell me that I am less than you and you cannot do something that makes me less than you.&#13;
So I have to be here as a full human being. I’m not going to stand for certain things that&#13;
you’re going to do and I’m not going to be nice about it.”&#13;
&#13;
I’m not going to be violent about it. Everything that we’ve ever done has been nonviolent but it was strong and definite and courageous, I think. I met some wonderful&#13;
people. I mean the people who did all this were just amazing people. And you wouldn’t&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 44&#13;
meet them on the street and say, “Oh, that’s an amazing person.” But they were amazing&#13;
people. They basically did things that were way out of their comfort zone.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Thank you for that. Let’s take a short break.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Perfect.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: And then we’ll move on and talk about the Alice Austen House [laughter].&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: When we went to the middle of the belly of the beast.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: The women with rolled gloves who were so nasty.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Oh, my God, I can’t wait for that story. How long does it take to change your&#13;
battery?&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Oh, I don’t have to change the battery out. I actually—I need to break just to create a&#13;
new file.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 45&#13;
Q1: Okay.&#13;
&#13;
[INTERRUPTION]&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Okay, and this is the November 5, 2017 interview with Maxine Wolfe and Anne&#13;
Maguire.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Maguire. I’m going to give you my name, the spelling too.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I have it. He doesn’t.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And it’s Wolfe with an “e”.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Yes, it is.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Anthony Bellov’s videographer, Liz Strong is the interviewer and I’m going to clap.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: So tell me a little bit about how you heard first about what was going on with the&#13;
history of the Alice Austen House, whoever wants to take that away.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Do you want to start?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I think you probably heard first from the academic.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 46&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: [Laughs] So how did we hear about the Alice Austen House? This researcher,&#13;
Amy [S.] Khoudari, is how I think you pronounce her name, came to an Avenger&#13;
meeting. She had also been at the archives doing research but she came to an Avenger&#13;
meeting and she basically said to us that she had been doing research about Alice Austen&#13;
who was this very famous photographer. And that she had been doing her research at&#13;
Alice Austen House and it was for her Ph.D. dissertation.&#13;
&#13;
And she did a talk in Staten—so the Alice Austen House is in Staten Island and she did a&#13;
talk in Staten Island. She was invited to do a talk, not at the Alice Austen House but&#13;
somewhere else and I don’t even know where and she gave that talk. The next time she&#13;
went to the Alice Austen House, she sort of was cold-shouldered and they started telling&#13;
her that she couldn’t have access to everything. And previous to that, she had gone there&#13;
and done a lot of research but suddenly they were restricting how often she could be there&#13;
and what she could see, et cetera. And she knew that it had to be about the fact that when&#13;
she gave this talk about Alice Austen, she mentioned that she was a lesbian, that she had&#13;
lived in the Alice Austen House with her partner, Gertrude Tate for more than thirty&#13;
years. And that they must have been homophobic and they really didn’t want this to be&#13;
the perception of the Alice Austen House.&#13;
&#13;
And she also kind of implied that it was a very conservative board that ran the Alice&#13;
Austen House and that they were never going to be happy about it. So she told us that&#13;
they were having this nautical festival that they have every year and that it would be a&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 47&#13;
good place to leaflet people because the whole board would be there and then all these&#13;
people who come to this festival and some of them are members. I guess there was a&#13;
membership thing that you could be at the Alice Austen House.&#13;
&#13;
So we got together and we decided to leaflet—we don’t just want to leaflet. What can we&#13;
do that’s more interesting than just leafleting? So do you want to pick it up from there?&#13;
Go ahead.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Well, we both went out to Alice Austen House. We thought we should go out&#13;
and check out the whole place, how to get there and what was there to see. And we found&#13;
they had a video, so you could sit and watch this little video about her life and her work.&#13;
The house had a name, it was like Sunny—I can’t—&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Clear Comfort.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Clear Comfort, that’s it. So basically a little bit of history about the house but&#13;
absolutely nothing about Gertrude Tate, her partner and nothing about the fact that she&#13;
was a lesbian. And this is a fake of the brochure they had. So they had a brochure in the&#13;
little store where they also showed the video. So we bought a copy of the brochure and&#13;
then we made our own. And decided because it was a nautical theme and there would be&#13;
song, that we needed to write our own songs and that we should go dressed as turn of the&#13;
century, so it would have been turn of last century in the funny bonnets and stripy—&#13;
[crosstalk].&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 48&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Like lifeguards, we were going to save her.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Lifeguards. So basically we were going to come and save Alice Austen from&#13;
the board of the Friends of Alice Austen House.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And the homophobia, right. So we sort of had these shower caps and we wore&#13;
striped tops so that we looked like we were from the turn of century, bathers or&#13;
lifeguards. Then we made these life preservers from the inner tubes of tires and we wrote&#13;
Dyke Preserver on it. Then we made up this brochure. Anne wrote everything in this&#13;
brochure. It’s funny. I don’t know if you want me to read any part of it.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Sure, if you have a favorite piece. Go for it.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I’ll just read the end of it. The end of it says, “We have come as lesbian lifeguards&#13;
to rescue Alice Austen from the homophobes. Too often our history is denied us. Our&#13;
papers, diaries, photographs and letters have been destroyed, lost, buried and deliberately&#13;
misinterpreted. Here at the Alice Austen House museum, there is a wealth of lesbian&#13;
herstory. Because Alice can’t tell the liars on the board to take a hike and to get the hell&#13;
off her lesbian land, we’re here to do it. We demand that Alice Austen’s lesbian identity&#13;
become an integral part of the museum’s interpretation of her life. If the board refuses to&#13;
embrace the real Alice Austen, they should resign and take their sinking ship of&#13;
lesbophobia with them. We are dyke preservers and we know all about Alice Austen. We&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 49&#13;
will preserve and celebrate Alice Austen’s life long after the liars and the homophobes&#13;
are gone. This here is a lesbian museum.”&#13;
&#13;
And we called it a national historic lesbian landmark. The thing that was interesting, I&#13;
think, besides the thing, she was an amazing photographer and she took photographs of&#13;
many, many parts of the city. She was amazing, A, that she was a woman photographer at&#13;
her time. She carried around heavy photographic equipment. It wasn’t lightweight and&#13;
she took it to the Lower East Side. She took it all over the city.&#13;
&#13;
But she also took these amazing photographs of her friends in these very funny tableaus&#13;
that were kind of in drag. She has one where three women are dressed as men. She has&#13;
women dancing with each other in couples. One of her most famous ones is this one of&#13;
women couples dancing. She had them dressed as Romeo and Juliet characters. She just&#13;
used her friends to make the most funny, lesbian, gay photographs. And they’re historic&#13;
because they were of that moment which is from the turn of the century really. And none&#13;
of that was there.&#13;
&#13;
None of those photographs were there and no mention of it and no mention of Gertrude&#13;
Tate and it’s a sad story because Alice Austen was a spendthrift. She threw away her&#13;
entire family fortune and at the end of her life was a pauper. And the only place that there&#13;
was for her—for years, she and Gertrude Tate lived in an apartment of their own and they&#13;
couldn’t afford it. Then Gertrude had relatives out on Long Island, but they didn’t want&#13;
the two of them to come together.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 50&#13;
&#13;
And so Alice Austen ended up in a poor person’s—a pauper house and died there alone.&#13;
Gertrude would come and visit her but she was alone. And then this entire history was&#13;
erased. It was so sad and angering that she would get no—that Gertrude would get&#13;
absolutely made invisible and that no one would know that these people were devoted to&#13;
each other, these two women, for thirty years.&#13;
&#13;
So that’s why we wanted to do something, but in the typical Avengers fashion. So we&#13;
made these brochures, which by the way, at the end of our action, we went into the&#13;
bookstore and put them in every single book in the bookstore. So that anyone who bought&#13;
something would find the actual—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: The real story.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: The real story of Gertrude. But we also—it was a nautical day and we wanted to&#13;
engage the people that were there. So we started by walking down the street with—oh,&#13;
we started on the Staten Island ferry and before we got on the ferry, we sang all the songs&#13;
waiting for the ferry. Then we sang the songs on the ferry which believe it or not, turned&#13;
out to be the Alice Austen ferry which we were just like oh, my goodness, we got the&#13;
Alice Austen ferry. Then we marched from the ferry to the house and we came down the&#13;
block and we marched into the nautical thing singing, [singing] “Ho, Ho, Homo Sex,&#13;
Homosexual. Alice and Gertrude were lesbians and we are as well!” [Laughs].&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 51&#13;
Maguire: Over and over.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Over and over and over. And by the way, these songs were written by Anne and&#13;
myself and my friend, Ed [Edward T.] Rogowsky who is no longer with us. He died some&#13;
years ago, but who loved music and he was so happy to write these songs with us. And&#13;
they were really great and some of them were exactly about what it was. This one was&#13;
about the photos that she took.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Oh, yes, so we made blowups—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Blowups of her photographs.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: —of her photographs. So we had these big black and white blowups of her&#13;
photographs and then we had a song to go, so we could hold up the photos we were&#13;
actually referring to. We did this because they had singers there. So what actually&#13;
happened was they sang one song—and we actually worked this out with them, under&#13;
their little tent and then it was our turn. Then they sang one and then we sang our next&#13;
one. So it actually got completely incorporated into what was going on at the time, which&#13;
was great.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes. This one—you just have to read this. Okay, [singing] “Alice Austen was a&#13;
dyke, Alleluia. Alice Austen on a bike, Alleluia. Alice Austen dressed in drag, Alleluia.&#13;
Alice Austen with a fag, Alleluia.”&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 52&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: It goes on.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: So we had all of these where we pointed out all her different photographs—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Her work. We had Alice Austen drinking beer.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Right and Alice Austen, you were queer. “Alice Austen, your lesbian life was not&#13;
in vain because we’ll come back again and again.” Anyways, it was about preserving&#13;
history, Yellow Submarine. We used a lot of songs. And they were all water songs. It was&#13;
amazing and then we also had like a dance routine that we did.&#13;
&#13;
So after we did our whole thing and we tried talking to these women on the board and&#13;
they were just, get out of our faces. They were just so nasty and there was a gay man who&#13;
was on the board, one gay man who was on the board actually supported us. The other&#13;
gay man who was on the board was the director and he was totally closeted and he was&#13;
furious. So these two young women who were not lesbians, they were just women who&#13;
were there with their families. They were maybe fourteen or fifteen, those girls, they&#13;
came over and they said, “We understand why you’re saying this but maybe if you were&#13;
nicer about it, maybe if you sent letters.” So we said, “We sent letters and they just don’t&#13;
pay any attention to us. So we need to do something for them to get their attention.”&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 53&#13;
So we didn’t know this but she had gone over and spoken to this guy on the board, the&#13;
director of the board. Anyway, we did this whole thing and then we marched through the&#13;
whole thing. Then we went into the bookstore and stuffed every book with the brochures&#13;
that we made.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And we left a life preserver on—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: On the front fence.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: On the picket fence before we left.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Then we walked out and these two young women came up to us and they said that&#13;
they had gone up to the guy who was the director of the board and told him, that he&#13;
should listen to us because we had something important to say. He gave them his card&#13;
and said that they should bring it to us and tell us to call him and come and meet with&#13;
him. So that was just nice that they actually were moved to do something because that’s&#13;
why we do stuff, right? It’s not just to do it; it’s to have an impact. So we did that and&#13;
then we went home on the Alice Austen ferry. It was there again. So actually Alice&#13;
Austen was with us all the way. Then we tried to get in touch with them.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: We did write a letter. We had a follow-up letter—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: A lot of people, yes.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 54&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And other people wrote letters and the offer of the meeting disappeared&#13;
immediately. I mean those two girls said he’s going to meet you. It didn’t happen. We&#13;
were stalled. We were told it wasn’t going to happen. And my recollection is we got&#13;
really busy doing other stuff—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Other things, yes. And we dropped it.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes. We didn’t keep—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: We were going to go and do a protest at the board meeting—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: A follow-up thing.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: But at that point, we were doing this work in Idaho and something about the radio&#13;
station, MEGA KQ which had a very homophobic guy who did the morning program and&#13;
we did stuff there. So it just never happened. But there were articles in the paper. So it&#13;
became known that Alice Austen—who Alice Austen was. It was in Staten Island papers.&#13;
So everybody there knew. And eventually what happened was they kept—the board&#13;
composition changed and people wanted to make it known. So now it was made a&#13;
national historic landmark and so the people there decided that they had to take her out of&#13;
the closet and make it—so now all the information is there about her and Gertrude Tate&#13;
and the fact that they lived together, et cetera. And so twenty-five years later but this is&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 55&#13;
the way activism works. You don’t always know what impact you’re going to have and&#13;
when. You just do it.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: What happened with the woman doing her Ph.D.? Did you ever hear her story?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: She did her Ph.D. She got her Ph.D.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Did she ever get access to the archives again?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I don’t know if she ever did. She did her thesis so she obviously had enough&#13;
information. So I don’t think they let her back in. But she had enough information at that&#13;
point to write the paper because there had been one other paper that was written in the&#13;
‘70s that I have a copy of. And she obviously by that time had enough to write about.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: So tell me about your own rediscovery of this history. Had you been aware of the&#13;
Alice Austen House and that story before this woman approached you and if not, after&#13;
she approached you, how did you go about rediscovering the history and doing the&#13;
research yourself?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Well, I am a coordinator at the Lesbian Herstory Archives which is the oldest and&#13;
largest lesbian archives in the world and I’ve been there since 1984. And we have a file&#13;
called—well, first of all, we have people there who are photographers but we have a file&#13;
called biographical files. So actually when she came, she came to the archives to do&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 56&#13;
research. So when someone does that, you can’t possibly know everything that’s in the&#13;
archives. And I’m not an art historian. Now we have a coordinator who is an art historian.&#13;
I’m sure she knew who Alice Austen was before then.&#13;
&#13;
I had seen this photograph, which is very famous and a lot of lesbians know it because&#13;
there used to be historical postcards made that you could buy and this was one of the&#13;
things that was always—you could always get a postcard of it. So I’m sure that&#13;
somewhere in my head I had her name but not really knowing what all that she did. But&#13;
when this woman came, I went upstairs to the biographic files as I would do with&#13;
anybody, and I said, “Well, let me see what we have.” And sure enough, we had two&#13;
folders on Alice Austen. So from that point on, I started finding out about Alice Austen.&#13;
So I think that that’s the other thing about when I said you do research. We couldn’t have&#13;
written this brochure. There’s much more inside about who Alice Austen was and what&#13;
she did and that came from research that we did in order to do the brochure.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I didn’t know her at all. The same thing, I recognized this photograph. I had no&#13;
idea who Alice Austen was. No idea she was so close by, like Staten Island. So it was&#13;
only from that woman coming to the meeting, that I discovered who she was really. And&#13;
also realized after doing some research, I actually recognized a lot of her photographs,&#13;
including the photos of newsboys on the Lower East Side, like lots of her photography&#13;
was very familiar. And I had no idea it had been a woman in the first place, never mind&#13;
Alice Austen. So that was kind of fantastic.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 57&#13;
Wolfe: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: So rediscovering her story, somebody who was openly long-term coupled in that&#13;
particular period in history, what did rediscovering that kind of history mean to you?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Well, I think at this time, I was just completely appalled that they were&#13;
covering it up. I can’t believe they’re doing this. That was really appalling because it was&#13;
so obvious. Once we started doing the research, I think they had been together for forty&#13;
years. It was more like forty years and Gertrude Tate broke an engagement to a man to be&#13;
with Alice Austen. And Alice Austen was clearly—they were devoted to each other.&#13;
Their friends and their family knew that they were in a relationship, that they were&#13;
lesbians.&#13;
&#13;
I think part of what was going on at this time in the ‘90s too, horrifying statistics coming&#13;
out about gay teens killing themselves. So one of the things was if you’re a kid, your&#13;
family in Staten Island is going to the Alice Austen House on a Sunday afternoon to have&#13;
a look at her photos, her house is beautiful and the situation is gorgeous. That was also a&#13;
really nice surprise. It’s right on the water.&#13;
&#13;
So it’s probably the kind of place families would go and you go into the museum and&#13;
there’s a little videotape. It would be really nice for your children and yourself and&#13;
especially your gay children that nobody knows they’re gay yet, to be told that Alice and&#13;
Gertrude were together for forty years and here are her gay friends and some of her&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 58&#13;
photographs. Here are some of her photographs on the Lower East Side in the early&#13;
twentieth century. But she also documented her life as a lesbian.&#13;
&#13;
That kind of thing would have made a huge difference to me as a kid, going oh, okay,&#13;
that’s interesting, good. I mean I was appalled by that, that they had totally, totally&#13;
closeted her. It was really shocking.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I think I was more aware because of working at the archives, I know what people&#13;
have done. I have so many stories of older, especially about older lesbians whose families&#13;
have thrown out their stuff or don’t like their—there was a labor organizer whose name&#13;
was Eleanor [G.] Coit. Her papers are at Harvard [University] and Radcliffe [Institute for&#13;
Advanced Study] in the Schlesinger Library and they never mention that she was a&#13;
lesbian.&#13;
&#13;
But there’s a guy who was an archivist, his name is Bert Hansen and he was walking&#13;
down the street one day and he saw this paper on the ground. When you’re an archivist,&#13;
you pick up paper on the ground. You pick up paper everywhere. So he picked up this&#13;
thing and it was a love letter. And so he picked them all up and they were a whole bunch&#13;
of love letters that she and her partner had written to one another over the years. And she&#13;
had just died and her family was throwing it out.&#13;
&#13;
That happens all the time and it still happens. It’s one of the things, like at the archives&#13;
when I take people on tours of the archives and especially when I get to the individual&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 59&#13;
files because we have organization files. We have a lot of things at the archives. When I&#13;
get to the individual files, one of the things that I say to women, young women, old&#13;
women, it doesn’t matter who, “Your life is important. People are going to want to know&#13;
about it. They’re going to want to know that you were here.” So if you have things, start a&#13;
file.&#13;
&#13;
We are not an archive about famous women. We are an archive about any lesbian. So we&#13;
have lesbian secretaries, we have lesbian strippers. We have lesbian writers, we have&#13;
everything. So send us ten pieces of paper about your life. We’ll give you a special&#13;
collection. Then from then on, you can keep adding to it all the time and someone can&#13;
come because we tell them stories, which we have several of, of people whose families&#13;
threw all this stuff away. You don’t want that to happen. You want somebody to know&#13;
you existed and this is a place, which will honor the fact that you existed.&#13;
&#13;
So a story like Alice Austen and this thing about the Alice Austen House and how they&#13;
had to be pushed into acknowledging who she was, is a way of saying to people, see, this&#13;
is what could happen. So you need to be somebody who puts your life somewhere that&#13;
somebody can find out about it because everyone who comes into the archives should see&#13;
an image of themselves. That means a whole range of people. In this case, it’s a famous&#13;
photographer but it can also be a secretary that nobody knows was ever around.&#13;
&#13;
So that’s one of our principles at the archives. I’ve been living with that kind of concept&#13;
for a long time because I’ve been a volunteer and a coordinator at the archives. But it is,&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 60&#13;
it’s always shocking. It’s still as shocking to me that people throw away somebody’s life&#13;
like that, not because they’re just getting rid of things but because they don’t want&#13;
somebody to know. During the AIDS crisis, if I tell you how many families destroyed&#13;
any evidence of their sons, didn’t want anybody to know they existed, didn’t want them&#13;
to know they were sick, horrible stories.&#13;
&#13;
So it’s across the board in the gay community for different reasons. It’s always shocking&#13;
when you find out about it. Then when you can do something about it, it’s great. When&#13;
you can be one of the people who makes sure that somebody remembers them, it’s&#13;
really—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I’m so glad they didn’t destroy her photography.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Her photography, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I mean these were not even family. These were friends of Alice Austen who&#13;
had decided—they had decided they were going to tell a version, which was not the real&#13;
version. And they could have decided they were going to destroy the photographs.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Well they didn’t have a lot of the—she sold a lot of the plates that she had in&#13;
order to have money. So actually, the Staten Island Historical Society had more of her&#13;
stuff than the Alice Austen House did.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 61&#13;
Maguire: Good.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I think that was one of the reasons that—well, I think it was one of the reasons&#13;
that some things got preserved.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: In this context of preserving history, I wanted to ask you about your thoughts on the&#13;
relationship between survival and visibility.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I have a pin that says lesbian visibility means lesbian survival. Okay, that was&#13;
from a group that I belonged to a long time ago but I think it is a big thing.&#13;
&#13;
People—one of the other things that I often say to people on tours is that everybody&#13;
thinks that we’re so far advanced and we have gone so far that life is wonderful. And I&#13;
say to them, “You know, there are kids in Brooklyn that are still killing themselves.” In&#13;
Brooklyn. We’re not talking about some rural place somewhere that you think from your&#13;
own—I don’t know—superior attitude are backwards. We’re talking about the City of&#13;
New York, okay, that people think of as being sophisticated and advanced and&#13;
everything.&#13;
&#13;
Yes, we have definitely made strides and definitely many more of us are out and many&#13;
more of us lead lives that are good and supportive and we have friends and our families&#13;
haven’t thrown us out, et cetera. But there are still kids being thrown out of their homes.&#13;
There are still kids being abused because they’re gay. There are still people being killed&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 62&#13;
because they’re gay or lesbian or trans. The world hasn’t gotten that good yet. And&#13;
there’s still a huge amount to do.&#13;
&#13;
So definitely visibility. Visibility exposes you to violence but visibility eventually means&#13;
survival because if you’re not going to be visible, if you’re not going to say to people that&#13;
your life matters—I always say to people, “This is not a lifestyle. This is a life.” It’s not a&#13;
style. It means that you have to be out there in order for people to see as I said, an image&#13;
of themselves, so that they know that who they are is a good thing, not a bad thing. And&#13;
there are still plenty of young people and older people, there’s still plenty of closeted&#13;
older people who still are afraid to come out. Now there have been a lot of discussions&#13;
about older people in nursing homes—gay people who are separated from their partners,&#13;
who can’t admit that they’re gay and the need to do trainings in those places.&#13;
&#13;
So across the life span, there are still so much for us to do and it’s not about marriage. It’s&#13;
about life, it’s about being able to live your life as anyone else would live their life and&#13;
not have to hide and not be afraid. So I think that that’s—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, I think it’s still really important.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: That’s a very important part about life, survival and visibility go together. As long&#13;
as we’re hiding, people can do things to us that are worse than what they would do if&#13;
we’re out because hiding says that we know that there’s something wrong. That’s what&#13;
hiding says. I know why people do it. That’s not a judgment to these people but definitely&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 63&#13;
that’s the message that comes to the rest of the world, that if you have to hide something,&#13;
it must be a bad thing, a secret.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I’d love to hear your thoughts on this too.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: You’ve kind of said it all. I mean I don’t feel like much has changed for me&#13;
around visibility since I was quite young. I mean I had this thing growing up where I&#13;
thought, I’m completely comfortable with who I am. It’s everybody else who has the&#13;
issue. It’s not me, it’s everyone else. But that for me, I now know in hindsight was a way&#13;
for me to stay closeted.&#13;
&#13;
I didn’t come out to most—like my friends and my family, until I was about twenty-one.&#13;
I had told my sisters like much earlier, when I was in my—fifteen maybe, and a couple of&#13;
close friends. But I moved out of my family home and that was it. I mean I came out&#13;
everywhere. Once I did it, I did it. I came out at work and I got transferred out of the&#13;
office because people were so uncomfortable. People thought I was joking at first&#13;
because it was such a funny thing to say. Yes, it was like I was hilarious. That was a&#13;
really good joke I just made and I’d say, “I’m not joking. I’m serious about this.” And&#13;
three weeks later, I was transferred.&#13;
&#13;
So I kind of felt once I had done it once, internally I had figured out, no, what you’re&#13;
telling yourself there is a way for you to maintain keeping it to yourself. Because you’re&#13;
totally fine with it. It’s just like once you put it out there; all the people who are not are&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 64&#13;
going to be trouble. So when I figured out I was protecting myself because I didn’t want&#13;
to come out. I think that’s all a visibility thing.&#13;
&#13;
Then when I came out, I wanted to—basically I had a really good role model. An English&#13;
woman who was in the Labour Party who came to conferences every once in awhile in&#13;
Dublin that I would show up to, and she basically said that every sentence that came out&#13;
of her mouth was, “As a lesbian.” Then she would give her political opinion on anything&#13;
and everything. So I thought, okay, this is the way it has to be now. I wasn’t as in your&#13;
face as Sarah [Roelofs] but I really loved that. I loved that she was political. She was&#13;
working on all kinds of campaigns on women’s reproductive rights, lesbian rights,&#13;
disability issues and anti-racist stuff, Irish politics, everything, but everything was, “As a&#13;
lesbian, here’s my position on this.” So she was fantastic.&#13;
&#13;
So the visibility thing, now also I think it’s really important to be visible as lesbians.&#13;
Lesbians we’re in the moment of disappearing again. One of the things I really can’t&#13;
stand is the LGBTQ everything because nobody has to say the words. I much prefer when&#13;
I hear anything on radio and I hear people standing up at meetings. But when I see it&#13;
written down, I want to hear you say every single word because you are talking about us.&#13;
We are not initials or letters. You are talking about real people here. So I want to hear&#13;
everything. I want to hear lesbian. I want to hear trans. But mostly at the moment, I want&#13;
to hear lesbian again because we are in a mode of being disappeared. So I think visibility&#13;
is always essential, always essential for our survival, totally.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 65&#13;
Q1: It occurred to me that the first inclusion in the St. Patrick’s Day parade was just this&#13;
past one and the first announcement and embracing of the Alice Austen House as a&#13;
national LGBTQ [Lesbian Gay Bisexual Trans Queer] landmark was just this year. Why&#13;
twenty-five years? Why is that a magic number? What are your thoughts on that—being&#13;
involved as you have been the whole time?&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I think it’s a coincidence in these things. I think the St. Patrick’s Day parade&#13;
was the first time an Irish—they messed it up the previous year and they invited a group&#13;
of gay corporate—NBC, like we are all friends, straight and gay together at NBC&#13;
basically. It’s a corporate group. There were eruptions. It’s like oh please, it’s been&#13;
twenty-five years. Just let Irish gay people march if they want at this point.&#13;
&#13;
But the parade thing, my analysis of it was NBC were going to pull the broadcast.&#13;
Guinness was pulling out. The sponsors were pulling out. And then it’s like okay, we&#13;
better let the gays in now. So that’s what I think it was with them. Otherwise, they were&#13;
determined. They did not want gay people in the parade—Irish gay people.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And I think we need to say that Irish gay people—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: It was Irish gay people.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Because we’d get crazed. They would say, “Gay people want to march in the&#13;
parade.” No Irish people want to march in the parade who are gay. They would just&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 66&#13;
eliminate the Irish part and they would make it seem like just some random group of gay&#13;
people want to march in the Irish—who wanted to march in the Irish, the St. Patrick’s&#13;
Day parade? Why would you want to march in it, because you’re gay? That wasn’t the&#13;
point. The point was you were Irish. And they just kept eliminating it.&#13;
&#13;
Yes, I agree with Anne though, this year it was all about losing sponsorship and a lot of&#13;
corporate entities have realized that it’s in their better interest to support gay and lesbian&#13;
people because first of all, we are purchasers and there’s a certain segment of the gay&#13;
community that does marketing, that has pushed out this thing that we have—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Tons of money.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Tons of disposable income. Who are those people? I don’t know. They’re not the&#13;
people I know. But still that’s what the marketing shows because they go after all these&#13;
high-income, mostly gay men. So I think the parade stuff—but even there, they didn’t ask&#13;
the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization. They didn’t ask the Fed Up Queers. Who did&#13;
they ask? The Lavender and Green [Alliance].&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Closet-y name, very closet-y. When that group started, people thought it was an&#13;
environmental group. This was the argument we had at the first meeting and the guy who&#13;
started the Lavender and the Green was at the first meeting and he wanted the boys to be&#13;
upfront and he wanted a closet-y name. It could be very safe. The message was it’s safe&#13;
to be in the closet and basically the other crowd was, no, the message is here. We all left&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 67&#13;
Ireland and now we are coming out and we are not going back into the closet. It was just&#13;
so interesting and the contingent was mostly straight people. Irish writers and politicians&#13;
and people who think they should have gotten a clap on the back for marching with Irish&#13;
gay people, twenty-five years after the fact. To me it was like twenty-five years too late.&#13;
You can stuff it.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Really. It’s like everyone else has moved on and you think you’re being&#13;
magnanimous now. I don’t think so. Stuff your parade.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes, right. The Alice Austen House—I think what might have spurred that is that&#13;
this year, there was a whole move to create national lesbian and gay monuments, historic&#13;
sites.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Landmarks, yes.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: It didn’t start with the Alice Austen House. It started with a group of gay people&#13;
who decided to make a list of spaces across the country that were known to be lesbian or&#13;
gay or trans spaces. The Archives is one of them but there were others. They picked the&#13;
Alice Austen House.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 68&#13;
So basically it was defensive for the Alice Austen House to name themselves, rather than&#13;
to have somebody else name them that because they were going to be on a list anyway.&#13;
So if I had to pick why it was now—and I think also to their credit, I think that there are&#13;
people now who are involved at the Alice Austen House who actually want this to&#13;
happen from their own point of view, not just because of that. I think they can get support&#13;
for it because it was going to be out there anyway. It’s kind of like if you know your&#13;
enemies are going to come after you, you might as well put yourself out there first. But I&#13;
definitely think on the positive side, that there were people in the Alice Austen House&#13;
who decided that it was time and that they knew all this stuff and this was a good time to&#13;
do it.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Did you have anyone from the original protest who wanted to go down and see the&#13;
proclamation or be involved in any way?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: You know, they did it so fast.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: It was very fast.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I couldn’t even go. I couldn’t even go. First of all, they did it during Gay Pride.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: That’s right.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 69&#13;
Wolfe: They did it the week right before the march, a few days. I think it was the&#13;
Thursday of the week that the Gay Pride march was on Sunday. I didn’t get a notice of it&#13;
until a day beforehand.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, I think the day before it, I think we heard.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I couldn’t go.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: No, me neither.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: There was no way. Nobody from the archives could go because the month of&#13;
June, we have a zillion events, not just things that we go to but things we do ourselves.&#13;
And nobody could go. I would have loved to have gone.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I got to put up a Facebook post. That was it. Going back to the action that we&#13;
did and some photographs, because when we heard there was a copy of the proclamation.&#13;
So to be able to say it’s now a landmark, look, this is so many years later. But no, we&#13;
couldn’t go to that.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: They really did it like in an instant.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 70&#13;
Q1: Do you think—?&#13;
&#13;
Q2: Liz, just to let you know, it’s four o’clock.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Oh, it’s four o’clock. I’ll just ask you a few more questions then. But do you think&#13;
your action and actions like it started to push people to think about making lists like this?&#13;
What is the line between what you did back in ’94 and what’s happened just this past&#13;
year?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: I think there are a couple of reasons. There is an association of lesbian and gay&#13;
archives. There have been several theses that have been written in the past couple of&#13;
years. Like for instance, I know two that are about lesbian spaces in New York and I’m&#13;
sure there are more. Those are women I know that came to the archives to do their&#13;
research.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And then there’s stuff like Barbara Hammer’s movie. She has a retrospective.&#13;
Someone has a retrospective—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: She’s having one now.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, exactly. It comes up again and people would be like, oh, my god, this&#13;
place in Staten Island.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 71&#13;
Wolfe: And I also think that there’s a feeling in the lesbian and gay community that it’s&#13;
time to mark these spaces because people are dying, older lesbians and gay men who&#13;
managed to survive the crisis, that their people are dying of natural causes. And their&#13;
memories are going to be gone.&#13;
&#13;
I know for instance that there’s a group of women who have done—it’s called the Old&#13;
Lesbian Oral Herstory Project. So I think people are starting to realize—I mean we’ve&#13;
done oral history—we have three thousand oral histories at the archives. People are&#13;
starting—it actually started with ACT UP, this whole focus on history, on documenting&#13;
your history. It was the first organization that I was in where people actively made videos&#13;
about the actions and who was involved and what was happening, there’s the ACT UP&#13;
Oral History Project. There’s a Lesbian Avenger project. There’s just a lot of these that&#13;
are happening now because people realize unless we do it, it’s not going to be out there.&#13;
&#13;
So I think that there’s a whole move to document the history of the community because&#13;
we’ve been out. We weren’t out for a really long time. It’s been only since the ‘60s, the&#13;
end of the ‘60s that there’s been a visible community. And people are starting to have&#13;
anniversaries that are meaningful in the whole world. Like for instance, the Pride march.&#13;
It’s coming up on its fiftieth year. The archives, the Lesbian Herstory Archives, we’re&#13;
going to be our forty-fifth year.&#13;
&#13;
So the things that have survived, people want to make sure that they’re documented and&#13;
that we document the history of the things that didn’t. People coming to the archives this&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 72&#13;
year, there’s been a lot of theses on the Lesbian Avengers. ACT UP again has sort of&#13;
reemerged. My friend, Avram [Finkelstein], just published his book about the oral history&#13;
of the images in ACT UP. People are doing histories of the movement in various ways,&#13;
videos about it, the one about Sylvia [R.] Rivera, the one that’s out there, that was done a&#13;
few years ago about Blue London [phonetic], about individuals.&#13;
&#13;
I just think it’s a moment where people have been out long enough, that they feel that it’s&#13;
time to say we’re here and we’ve been here. I always think that takes time because people&#13;
always feel, well, how can I write a history one year afterwards? But now it’s thirty years&#13;
after the beginning of the AIDS crisis. It’s twenty-five years after certain other things. So&#13;
people feel it’s enough time to look back and be able to document it before the people&#13;
who are involved disappear.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I also want to point out just as we’re wrapping up that the Alice Austen House site is&#13;
the first queer national historic landmark in New York State to be given to a woman.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: That’s right.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: That’s one of the things I put in my post when we heard that was happening.&#13;
Yes, it’s just interesting. Is it the only one that’s been dedicated to a woman anywhere&#13;
though? Not just in New York?&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 73&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I’ll have to check.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I think it was the first one—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Anywhere.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Across the board, yes. I think it was. Yes, that’s good we did that action twentyfive years ago. We can say we did that action. We knew about her then.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: [Laughs] Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: But I think it just speaks to this idea that you were saying, that lesbian needs to be&#13;
underscored—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Yes.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Absolutely.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: It’s always true. When we get asked about things—I’ll just give you an example.&#13;
When the New York Public Library did their first exhibit, it was called Becoming Visible:&#13;
[An Illustrated History of Lesbian and Gay Life in Twentieth Century America], which is&#13;
really funny because it was becoming visible to them. But anyway, most of the&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 74&#13;
information they had in the library at that time, were what we call our enemies. In order&#13;
to do that exhibit, they had to borrow things from everybody because they didn’t have&#13;
any of that information.&#13;
&#13;
One of the things that happened was this person came to the—had a meeting at the&#13;
community center. Like three hundred people showed up. And they had five people from&#13;
the New York Public Library and one guy stood up and he said, “It’s really important.&#13;
We definitely need material but we specifically—” and this is what everyone says “—we&#13;
specifically need lesbian material because we don’t have lesbian material. It’s very&#13;
difficult to get lesbian material.” And a woman stood up in the room and said, “Come to&#13;
my basement.”&#13;
&#13;
The truth is that most of the archives, even the gay archives that exist, they say that they&#13;
are LGBTQ but they are really G and T. And the L and the B are gone and that is true. So&#13;
there are only two—well two big women’s archives, lesbian archives. There’s the June&#13;
Mazer [Lesbian Archives] collection in California and the Lesbian Herstory Archives.&#13;
There’s the Cincinnati Ohio Lesbian Archives which is a small one but it’s there. And&#13;
there’s a couple in Europe. There’s Spinnboden which is in Germany but that’s it. All of&#13;
the other archives, most of their material is from gay men. That’s number one. Secondly,&#13;
most of their material is about famous people, which is not true of either lesbian archive&#13;
or any of the ones that I know.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 75&#13;
So definitely that’s part of the issue is that is missing and people say that they don’t know&#13;
where it is. I say, “Come to the archives. We have twelve thousand books.” Twelve&#13;
thousand books that are by or about lesbians. I bet you had no idea there were twelve&#13;
thousand books by or about lesbians and that’s what women say when they come in,&#13;
visitors. They go, “Oh, my God, these are all about lesbians?” Because who knows? It’s&#13;
not stuff that’s around, where there’s so much more about gay men out there then there is&#13;
about anybody else really.&#13;
&#13;
It’s just a statement of the way the world works, which is the patriarchy. That’s what&#13;
we’re dealing with here. It doesn’t matter whether it’s straight or gay. It’s not any&#13;
different. It’s who has the power in the world and the people with the power define what&#13;
is history.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: On that thought, I’d love to get both of your thoughts on the meaning of a physical&#13;
space, not just an archive, not just a history but a space that is rooted to a person and to a&#13;
place in time, you can visit with your kids. Talk to me about the meaning of that site&#13;
being recognized as openly lesbian.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: That’s incredible. That makes it so—obviously it’s material. It’s real. It’s&#13;
something that somebody can touch. It’s not just an idea. That’s why I think it’s so&#13;
important that they have information of the relationship between those two women,&#13;
because it’s something that you see where they lived and then you read about them, it&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 76&#13;
makes it real, whereas just reading about them, you have to kind of imagine what was&#13;
their life like and stuff. That way they’re in a place.&#13;
&#13;
So anything like that—that’s why people wanted to make Stonewall Inn like a national&#13;
spot and the Lesbian Herstory Archives and other spaces that the community has used in&#13;
the same way that you make that about straight people. If you know where Audre Lorde&#13;
lived, why shouldn’t there be a plaque on her building? She was the Poet Laureate of&#13;
New York State besides being an amazing lesbian poet. Or Adrienne Rich or any of those&#13;
people. They lived places. And I think that’s—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: It’s really important. One of the first things I thought when I heard it got the&#13;
landmark—I have a niece and nephew here and I thought fantastic, now I have a place to&#13;
bring them. I don’t need to give them the streets. It’s going to be there. But it’s like she&#13;
walked around and she saw the river from this angle at some point.&#13;
&#13;
That’s so important and I was thinking that when I told you about one of the first things I&#13;
did when Bobby Sands died, and my brother and myself, we knew to go to the general&#13;
post office in Dublin. We knew that this was a place because it had history. It had&#13;
meaning. It was where the rising, the people who revolted in 1916 took over this&#13;
building. So it has meaning. You know that these people were in this building trying to&#13;
rise up against British rule.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 77&#13;
I kind of feel the same about Alice Austen House. This is where she lived and we are&#13;
marking it. We are saying this is really important. It’s important to us. It’s important to&#13;
everyone to know this and here it is. It’s like, you can touch it.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Well, what you’re saying about the post office, in New York, whenever anything&#13;
goes down, any kind of Supreme Court ruling, where do people go? Stonewall. You don’t&#13;
even have to ask. Show up at Stonewall after work and there are going to be people there.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I don’t think Alice Austen House is going to become a place like that but it&#13;
might be like you want to go do something. You think you might have a gay nephew or a&#13;
little—&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Or just to tell—[crosstalk].&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Let’s go out in the ferry and go visit Alice Austen House.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: It’s a beautiful place besides—&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: It’s gorgeous. Yes, it’s really gorgeous.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: It’s a really nice place to visit.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: And great photographs and great history. So yes, it’s really important.&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 78&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I’m just going to say thank you very much. Is there anything I should have asked you&#13;
during this time that we spent together?&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: [Laughs]&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: I haven’t talked so much in a long time.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Me neither [laughs].&#13;
&#13;
Q1: I really appreciate all the memories you guys shared today, absolutely beautiful.&#13;
Thank you again for the work that you did twenty-five years ago, making many things to&#13;
be accomplished.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Thinking up funny songs. That’s what we love doing.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: We had such a great time.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Yes, I really like fun actions.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: We had such fun doing this. It was really—that’s what I mean, doing serious&#13;
things but in a way—&#13;
&#13;
�Maguire, Wolfe – 1 – 79&#13;
Maguire: You need to have fun every once in awhile.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: And it gets to people when you do something like that. They get it in a way they&#13;
don’t otherwise.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Well, a revolution without dancing.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Thank you for asking us to do this.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Exactly, yes, not interested.&#13;
&#13;
Q2: I’m going to stop blinding you now.&#13;
&#13;
Q1: Thank you very much.&#13;
&#13;
Wolfe: Thank you for doing this.&#13;
&#13;
Maguire: Thank you.&#13;
&#13;
[END OF INTERVIEW]&#13;
&#13;
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                <text>Oral History conducted by New York Preservation Archive Project in which Maxine Wolfe and Anne Maguire are interviewed. They discuss their early lives, background on their family histories, and the work as activists. &#13;
&#13;
The talk about the environments they grew up in, Maxine in Brooklyn and Anne in Dublin, and their early interest in, and awareness of, politics. Anne talks about the political climate of Ireland that made her want to leave, eventually winning a green card in a lottery, and moving to New York City.  Anne describes meeting Maxine at a Thanksgiving Dinner through a friend, Marie, who would eventually become her partner.&#13;
&#13;
Maxine discusses her involvement in various LGBTQ and Radical organizations in NYC that lead her to ACT UP.  Anne discusses being part of the founding group of ILGO, the Irish Lesbian and Gay Organization, which started in 1990, and which she was part of for 10 years. She talks about ILGO's rejection from the St. Patrick's Day Parade and the publicity the group got from that. &#13;
&#13;
They talk about the erasure of lesbian organizers and leadership within LGBTQ history which tends to focus on gay men, and how Lesbians had to advocate for themselves and form their own movements to be heard and to focus on Lesbian issues. They talk about Lesbian and women erasure during the AIDS crisis and how that lead them to for the Lesbian Avengers along with Ana Maria Simo, Anne-Christine D'askey, Marie Honan,  and Sarah Schulman. They decided they wanted to focus on serious politics rather than cultural issues, and to not be a top-down organization. Anne and Maxine discuss the first meetings and actions of the Lesbian Avengers and talk about offering organizing help and support to other Lesbian groups around the country. &#13;
&#13;
Maxine and Anne talk about the real depth of activism, and the dangerous legal and personal implications of direct actions. They discuss the importance of being part of a group and having a support structure when taking part in a direct action. Maxine talks about the learning and training and teaching that happens behind the scenes before any direct actions. They go into more detail about work they did as the Lesbian Avengers around the country, and the effect that their bottom-up structure had on small community movements. &#13;
&#13;
They talk about the Alice Austen House and the fact that the Board was homophobic and hiding the queer part of that story, and work they did around protesting how the history was being handled. They discuss the importance of recovering queer histories from the 19th Century, and making gay history available to the public. Maxine talks about the role of the Lesbian Herstory Archives in preserving the history and lives of all lesbians for this reason.  They talks about how visibility and survival are related for Lesbians, and the need for people to see themselves represented. &#13;
&#13;
Maxine and Anne talk about seeing the fruits of their activist labor come to fruition after 25 years, and their thoughts about current acceptance of LGBTQ people as being partially related to capitalism and revenue. They discuss more recent LGBTQ history and archive projects and the celebrating of gay institutions that have survived over the past 50 years. However, through some of these projects, they are still experiencing Lesbian,  Bisexual, and Transgender erasure and erasure of the history of every day people. &#13;
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Ruth and Connie discuss how they met, their early activism within their communities, being married to men and having families, and their eventual falling in love with one another and coming out as Lesbians. They discuss their relationships with their families then and now, and the importance of coming out of the closet. &#13;
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Deborah talks about her process when working in this film, and how she tried to make the film for both gay and striaght audiences  </text>
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                <text>In this oral history conducted by the Rossmoor Lesbian Social Club, Kathryn Poethig discusses growing up in the Philippines due to her parents work through the Presbyterian church and her positionality being raised there  as a white person in a minority privileged position that affected the rest of her life. She talks about moving back to America and feeling uncomfortable at first with the culture as well as how sexualized things were in the US which lead to her further questioning her sexuality, her first feelings of attraction to women as an adult and her coming out process within a theological community.  she talks about her feeling about various lesbian and women's groups she found herself in and moving to Rossmoor with her partner.</text>
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